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  • I wanna know how to quit cocaine for good

    I am just curious on how to really call it quits for cocaine. After you quit for like 7 days you start getting these cravings that it is intermittently thoughts pop in and out but you still have the motivation to quit then it tends to fade away your motivation and your thinking everything is back to normal then bang. Then your friends you can't get rid of but they are like family. But they know they will stay away for a while because I am quitting or not do it in front of me for respect. But I will come out and say lets do it. Thats how my thought process works after a week.

    Rehab I will never go there and will not be next to those people I would feel wierd and not wanna quit cause it is a horrible atmosphere with lack of motivation everyone is like a zombie just can't go. I meed serious help I just wanna know is accupuncture the way to go to quit cravings haven't tried it yet. Plus I have a great job I don't want to lose it due to this nasty drug. In reality I am a very motivated person with lots of energy. So I need advice on how to mix my thought process with that motivation without any interference from friends.

    Thanks

  • #2
    ***WARNING: Long winded, but straight-forward advice based on personal experience.***

    I used cocaine for about two years, and I know what you're saying. I'm a professional who runs my own business - not some junkie raver. Yet like everyone else, I'm just as vulnerable to addiction as the next guy. I used anywhere from a gram to a quarter ounce on an almost daily basis. I've experimented with a lot of different drugs, but nothing ever consumed my life as much as coke did. It was the first drug I would have dreams about using and it seemed to consume every outlet of my life - even when I was sleeping (or when I could actually sleep). I have not used coke for more than two years now and every day when I wake up, I feel great knowing that it no longer consumes my life.

    I have advice for you and you aren't going to like it. I didn't like it either when I was in your situation, but I eventually realized I had to accept it and face it. So here I go...

    Friends

    You mention friends you can't get ride of. Face it man, what is your friendship with this people all about? Is it so you feel the comfort of having other people to get high with? Is it because of so many coked out sessions with these people that you get that weird, yet fake, "coke bond" with them? (You know how people are extremely friendly and patronizing when they do coke together - I too developed my own "coke family"). I had a lot of people who I considered great friends at the time, but I had to face the fact that it was either these "friendships" or my life. It hurts bailing on these people, but you absolutely have to do what's best for you. It will hurt to cut them out of your life, but if you truely want to get clean, you're going to have to do it.

    I never realized how much these people influenced me until I stopped associating with them. Once I started feeling normal again after quitting, I finally told them straight up that as long as they were using, I couldn't hang out with them. I told them I absolutely didn't want them to invite me to use it again and that if they were truely my friends, then they would respect that.

    Don't lie to yourself. When you're addicted to cocaine, you develop a weak mentality where you'll almost always find a way to justify getting high. My strongest advice is to cut these people out of your life until they clean up as well. Hell, when I quit using, it actually set an example for a couple of my junkie friends and they in turn cleaned up following my lead. Make new friends that are clean. Taking yourself out of situations where you'll be tempted to use is one of, if not the biggest step towards cleaning up.

    Rehab

    As I said before, I wasn't you stereotypical street junkie that had to steal things and sell them at pawn shops to get high. I have a college degree, run my own self-started business and from an outsiders view would actually be seen as a respectible person. But I was living a double life. I thought I could keep up with my work and personal commitments and still use at the same time, and I honestly did without anyone knowing except for the people I used it with.

    I finally went on my own will to a treatment center, aka rehab. It was a hard decision for me and I really, REALLY had to humble myself and attitude to do it. I didn't want to go to those meetings either because of having to sit with "those people." But honestly, when you boil it down, you're just as same as the unemployed high school dropout when it comes to addiction. I made more money and had an education, but I was still a junkie. I was extremely reluctant to go to my first group meeting. I hated the idea of sitting with a bunch of other people and talking about my problem. I was also being way too judgemental of the other people I would be there with. But seriously man, lose that attitude. When you're a cokehead, you aren't any better than them and you have no room whatsoever to judge them.

    Don't rule out rehab. Once again, you have to humble yourself to do it - I know I did. I forced myself go to a one-on-one evaluation with a consouler for the first time, dreading the idea. I felt like a total loser and thought I would get stuck with some asshole who didn't understand my problem at all. But after talking to the guy for 10 minutes, I was finally able to tell someone what I was doing. Someone who actually cared and would help me help myself.

    A big misconception I had was that I just needed to quit the cravings. I WANTED the cravings to quit. I needed to know why I decided to turn to drugs and what was keeping me from quitting.

    Don't think you're too good to go to rehab, because as long as you're addicted to coke, you aren't. You're only saying that because you're afraid, but there's nothing to be afraid of. Support is one of the best tactics for cleaning up, not bull**** like accupuncture (And for your information, I tried that and hypnosis, but it was just a waste of money because I was back using the next day. It didn't help me find the root of my problem).

    There isn't an easy way to get clean. It's a process that takes time and the motivation to follow through. So bottom line:
    1) Break away from the "friends" you use it with. 2) Don't turn your back to rehab or treatment programs. You aren't too good for it and once you clean up, you'll appreciate it.

    You may hate these ideas, I definately did, but this is a much better option that using for the rest of your life. It won't be easy, but if I can do it, I know anyone can. It will be rough for awhile, but things will get so much better in your life in every aspect. I promise you.

    I hope you actually read all that. You sound a lot like I did when I decided to quit and I really want you to listen and think about what I said. Take care of yourself and be strong.

    Peace,
    Dan
    Last edited by Anonymous; 11-21-2009, 10:39 PM.

    Comment


    • #3
      Its being 3 year & 5 Months how are u guys

      I'm going thru similar circumstances here as well, I know that after kicking the habit and breaking the pattern things will look and feel better, funny I don't have friends that get high on cocaine. I really need to get off this stuff. How are U guys doing since.

      How long before after a 12 day absence from the stimulation factor, one can with dedication start feeling better. I know to expect some discomfort. can you take do something to alleviate the crave.

      Fred

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi bklynkid,

        dm503 is totally right.

        The sooner you realize that you are one of "those people," the better off you will be. Coke was a big drug among lots of high-earning, highly educated people in the 80s, and guess what...they had to get clean the same way as the street peeps did: by getting in treatment and dealing with it. Not all rehabs are full of people who don't want to be there! Have you tried any NA meetings? Those people are highly motivated and very serious and very knowledgeable about getting clean and staying clean. If you don't want to do a private detox, NA is the way to go. That is "serious help."

        Good luck!

        Comment


        • #5
          I used Crystal for a very long time, i started getting too paranoid and realized this; 6 hours of fun=4 days of full blown paranoia.

          it was paranoia that made want to quit.

          good luck

          Comment


          • #6
            5 years clean - desipramine

            After being addicted to crack for about 3 years. At my bottom I was using $200 to $400 a day. I was prescribed desipramine for a few months and have been clean for 5 years now. I had offers to use and didn't have the urge. This is just my experience. Everyone is different so talk with a doctor. Best of luck You can quit.

            Comment


            • #7
              OMG! That was the most inspiring script I've read to date -- thank you DM503 ... In my current predicament, I truly feel there is now a light at the end of the tunnel

              Originally posted by dm503 View Post
              ***WARNING: Long winded, but straight-forward advice based on personal experience.***

              I used cocaine for about two years, and I know what you're saying. I'm a professional who runs my own business - not some junkie raver. Yet like everyone else, I'm just as vulnerable to addiction as the next guy. I used anywhere from a gram to a quarter ounce on an almost daily basis. I've experimented with a lot of different drugs, but nothing ever consumed my life as much as coke did. It was the first drug I would have dreams about using and it seemed to consume every outlet of my life - even when I was sleeping (or when I could actually sleep). I have not used coke for more than two years now and every day when I wake up, I feel great knowing that it no longer consumes my life.

              I have advice for you and you aren't going to like it. I didn't like it either when I was in your situation, but I eventually realized I had to accept it and face it. So here I go...

              Friends

              You mention friends you can't get ride of. Face it man, what is your friendship with this people all about? Is it so you feel the comfort of having other people to get high with? Is it because of so many coked out sessions with these people that you get that weird, yet fake, "coke bond" with them? (You know how people are extremely friendly and patronizing when they do coke together - I too developed my own "coke family"). I had a lot of people who I considered great friends at the time, but I had to face the fact that it was either these "friendships" or my life. It hurts bailing on these people, but you absolutely have to do what's best for you. It will hurt to cut them out of your life, but if you truely want to get clean, you're going to have to do it.

              I never realized how much these people influenced me until I stopped associating with them. Once I started feeling normal again after quitting, I finally told them straight up that as long as they were using, I couldn't hang out with them. I told them I absolutely didn't want them to invite me to use it again and that if they were truely my friends, then they would respect that.

              Don't lie to yourself. When you're addicted to cocaine, you develop a weak mentality where you'll almost always find a way to justify getting high. My strongest advice is to cut these people out of your life until they clean up as well. Hell, when I quit using, it actually set an example for a couple of my junkie friends and they in turn cleaned up following my lead. Make new friends that are clean. Taking yourself out of situations where you'll be tempted to use is one of, if not the biggest step towards cleaning up.

              Rehab

              As I said before, I wasn't you stereotypical street junkie that had to steal things and sell them at pawn shops to get high. I have a college degree, run my own self-started business and from an outsiders view would actually be seen as a respectible person. But I was living a double life. I thought I could keep up with my work and personal commitments and still use at the same time, and I honestly did without anyone knowing except for the people I used it with.

              I finally went on my own will to a treatment center, aka rehab. It was a hard decision for me and I really, REALLY had to humble myself and attitude to do it. I didn't want to go to those meetings either because of having to sit with "those people." But honestly, when you boil it down, you're just as same as the unemployed high school dropout when it comes to addiction. I made more money and had an education, but I was still a junkie. I was extremely reluctant to go to my first group meeting. I hated the idea of sitting with a bunch of other people and talking about my problem. I was also being way too judgemental of the other people I would be there with. But seriously man, lose that attitude. When you're a cokehead, you aren't any better than them and you have no room whatsoever to judge them.

              Don't rule out rehab. Once again, you have to humble yourself to do it - I know I did. I forced myself go to a one-on-one evaluation with a consouler for the first time, dreading the idea. I felt like a total loser and thought I would get stuck with some asshole who didn't understand my problem at all. But after talking to the guy for 10 minutes, I was finally able to tell someone what I was doing. Someone who actually cared and would help me help myself.

              A big misconception I had was that I just needed to quit the cravings. I WANTED the cravings to quit. I needed to know why I decided to turn to drugs and what was keeping me from quitting.

              Don't think you're too good to go to rehab, because as long as you're addicted to coke, you aren't. You're only saying that because you're afraid, but there's nothing to be afraid of. Support is one of the best tactics for cleaning up, not bull**** like accupuncture (And for your information, I tried that and hypnosis, but it was just a waste of money because I was back using the next day. It didn't help me find the root of my problem).

              There isn't an easy way to get clean. It's a process that takes time and the motivation to follow through. So bottom line:
              1) Break away from the "friends" you use it with. 2) Don't turn your back to rehab or treatment programs. You aren't too good for it and once you clean up, you'll appreciate it.

              You may hate these ideas, I definately did, but this is a much better option that using for the rest of your life. It won't be easy, but if I can do it, I know anyone can. It will be rough for awhile, but things will get so much better in your life in every aspect. I promise you.

              I hope you actually read all that. You sound a lot like I did when I decided to quit and I really want you to listen and think about what I said. Take care of yourself and be strong.

              Peace,
              Dan

              Comment


              • #8
                dear dan,
                i have been searching and searching for weeks for someone to even come close to what i am dealing with. when i accidently came across your post; you describing the "craving" and such; really spoke to me. I've been a heavy "bumper" for the past two years. started using it because none of the diets/prescribed medications would work to lose weight...i was terrified of gastric bypass surgery. now i've met my goal, afraid to stop using ~ what if i gain it all back? ~ i know its sounds pretty stupid, but in the back of my mind...i cant get that fear out of my head. i cry everyday because i fail to not go get a "dime". a few months ago i got into trouble and arrested for possession. now my freedom is at stake because i have no self-control. cocaine (snorting only) also helps me with my mania/bi-polar & depression. when my meds just are not working that day, "poof" there goes weak me to go get a dime to stop the mania...instead of it getting me all jittery, energetic and perked up....it calms me down, keeps me focused and the mania goes away. i've researching this quite a bit and i just found where that is part of withdrawal...geez, i'm so lost and dont have anyone to talk to about this. i'm afraid to go to ca or na because i have such a high profile job that i am pretty much well know throughout the county. you would think an intelligent, strong woman could beat this...shoot i didnt even let cancer get me down or beat me the four times i had it. how can this little powder have so much control. i went to a really great rehab center in february; enjoyed it, but i left after two weeks for the simple fact that the phyc dr for the center ended up being my mom's personal phyc dr and all he wanted to talk about was of what an embarrassment i was being of getting caught/using...i walked out. sorry for rambling so much, i've been on a "mania" for three days with only 6-8 hrs of sleep during this episode. thank goodness its friday...hoping to crash out this weekend and finally get some rest. please explain in more detail how you quit; what were your withdrawal systems; what should i expect or look for; etc. as of today i am through...cold turkey!!! lord give me strength for this long and hard journey i am about to embark on. god bless you and i hope to hear from others who are going through the same thing.

                bbw
                Praying everyday for my freedom of addiction

                Comment


                • #9
                  It's good to know you're not alone in this, huh?

                  SWIM broke out a bag in my 2nd year of university, and I gave the white stuff a shot. I did it recreationally one every six months until my group of friends started hanging out with the acting crowd. This was in 3rd year. Eventually I moved to a location that (unfortunately) lent me easy access to the stuff- long story short, I've used .5 grams about 5 days a week or more now for about six months, and it's a road I don't wish to continue on. I'm a premedical student with a lot of vices, and a desperate desire to kick them but no support system to distract me.

                  It seems the user's trick is to blame someone else for their habits.
                  I am trying to separate myself from this practice- I agree with a previous poster in saying that you do need help. Rehab may or may not be the answer for me, and the same is true for you, but it is necessary to find a professional that can help you cope with the emotional aspect of cocaine withdrawal.
                  It seems I slip the easiest into old habits when I am drunk and lose inhibition or when I'm feeling particularly alone, wanting to numb or just to quickly feel "happy". Most times now I feel the craving as a prickling on the back of my neck, a sporadic thought to call my dealer. I've tried deleting the numbers out of my phone but I always find my way back- and I am soon going to see a long term therapist and move into a better, less "connected" neighborhood.

                  I suppose this reply is less an offering of advice and more a plight for it.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    My respect on how strong is your will to fight this strong problem.As im writing this note im high on coke. I want to quit really bad. I went to a clinic, i went to NA, but the drug is winning, i want to ask you how you are dealing with this problem,do you feel you quit for good?, is a day by day fight?, how hard it was for you?, what can i do that will help me give up this unreal effect?.
                    I really liked your post, is a message that shows that it is possible to quit and move forward. Thanks for sharing your strenght and careing for others that went trought of what you lived and experienced.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by dm503 View Post
                      ***WARNING: Long winded, but straight-forward advice based on personal experience.***

                      I used cocaine for about two years, and I know what you're saying. I'm a professional who runs my own business - not some junkie raver. Yet like everyone else, I'm just as vulnerable to addiction as the next guy. I used anywhere from a gram to a quarter ounce on an almost daily basis. I've experimented with a lot of different drugs, but nothing ever consumed my life as much as coke did. It was the first drug I would have dreams about using and it seemed to consume every outlet of my life - even when I was sleeping (or when I could actually sleep). I have not used coke for more than two years now and every day when I wake up, I feel great knowing that it no longer consumes my life.

                      I have advice for you and you aren't going to like it. I didn't like it either when I was in your situation, but I eventually realized I had to accept it and face it. So here I go...

                      Friends

                      You mention friends you can't get ride of. Face it man, what is your friendship with this people all about? Is it so you feel the comfort of having other people to get high with? Is it because of so many coked out sessions with these people that you get that weird, yet fake, "coke bond" with them? (You know how people are extremely friendly and patronizing when they do coke together - I too developed my own "coke family"). I had a lot of people who I considered great friends at the time, but I had to face the fact that it was either these "friendships" or my life. It hurts bailing on these people, but you absolutely have to do what's best for you. It will hurt to cut them out of your life, but if you truely want to get clean, you're going to have to do it.

                      I never realized how much these people influenced me until I stopped associating with them. Once I started feeling normal again after quitting, I finally told them straight up that as long as they were using, I couldn't hang out with them. I told them I absolutely didn't want them to invite me to use it again and that if they were truely my friends, then they would respect that.

                      Don't lie to yourself. When you're addicted to cocaine, you develop a weak mentality where you'll almost always find a way to justify getting high. My strongest advice is to cut these people out of your life until they clean up as well. Hell, when I quit using, it actually set an example for a couple of my junkie friends and they in turn cleaned up following my lead. Make new friends that are clean. Taking yourself out of situations where you'll be tempted to use is one of, if not the biggest step towards cleaning up.

                      Rehab

                      As I said before, I wasn't you stereotypical street junkie that had to steal things and sell them at pawn shops to get high. I have a college degree, run my own self-started business and from an outsiders view would actually be seen as a respectible person. But I was living a double life. I thought I could keep up with my work and personal commitments and still use at the same time, and I honestly did without anyone knowing except for the people I used it with.

                      I finally went on my own will to a treatment center, aka rehab. It was a hard decision for me and I really, REALLY had to humble myself and attitude to do it. I didn't want to go to those meetings either because of having to sit with "those people." But honestly, when you boil it down, you're just as same as the unemployed high school dropout when it comes to addiction. I made more money and had an education, but I was still a junkie. I was extremely reluctant to go to my first group meeting. I hated the idea of sitting with a bunch of other people and talking about my problem. I was also being way too judgemental of the other people I would be there with. But seriously man, lose that attitude. When you're a cokehead, you aren't any better than them and you have no room whatsoever to judge them.

                      Don't rule out rehab. Once again, you have to humble yourself to do it - I know I did. I forced myself go to a one-on-one evaluation with a consouler for the first time, dreading the idea. I felt like a total loser and thought I would get stuck with some asshole who didn't understand my problem at all. But after talking to the guy for 10 minutes, I was finally able to tell someone what I was doing. Someone who actually cared and would help me help myself.

                      A big misconception I had was that I just needed to quit the cravings. I WANTED the cravings to quit. I needed to know why I decided to turn to drugs and what was keeping me from quitting.

                      Don't think you're too good to go to rehab, because as long as you're addicted to coke, you aren't. You're only saying that because you're afraid, but there's nothing to be afraid of. Support is one of the best tactics for cleaning up, not bull**** like accupuncture (And for your information, I tried that and hypnosis, but it was just a waste of money because I was back using the next day. It didn't help me find the root of my problem).

                      There isn't an easy way to get clean. It's a process that takes time and the motivation to follow through. So bottom line:
                      1) Break away from the "friends" you use it with. 2) Don't turn your back to rehab or treatment programs. You aren't too good for it and once you clean up, you'll appreciate it.

                      You may hate these ideas, I definately did, but this is a much better option that using for the rest of your life. It won't be easy, but if I can do it, I know anyone can. It will be rough for awhile, but things will get so much better in your life in every aspect. I promise you.

                      I hope you actually read all that. You sound a lot like I did when I decided to quit and I really want you to listen and think about what I said. Take care of yourself and be strong.

                      Peace,
                      Dan
                      My respect on how strong is your will to fight this strong problem.As im writing this note im high on coke. I want to quit really bad. I went to a clinic, i went to NA, but the drug is winning, i want to ask you how you are dealing with this problem,do you feel you quit for good?, is a day by day fight?, how hard it was for you?, what can i do that will help me give up this unreal effect?.
                      I really liked your post, is a message that shows that it is possible to quit and move forward. Thanks for sharing your strenght and careing for others that went trought of what you lived and experienced.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by bklynkid80 View Post
                        I am just curious on how to really call it quits for cocaine. After you quit for like 7 days you start getting these cravings that it is intermittently thoughts pop in and out but you still have the motivation to quit then it tends to fade away your motivation and your thinking everything is back to normal then bang. Then your friends you can't get rid of but they are like family. But they know they will stay away for a while because I am quitting or not do it in front of me for respect. But I will come out and say lets do it. Thats how my thought process works after a week.

                        Rehab I will never go there and will not be next to those people I would feel wierd and not wanna quit cause it is a horrible atmosphere with lack of motivation everyone is like a zombie just can't go. I meed serious help I just wanna know is accupuncture the way to go to quit cravings haven't tried it yet. Plus I have a great job I don't want to lose it due to this nasty drug. In reality I am a very motivated person with lots of energy. So I need advice on how to mix my thought process with that motivation without any interference from friends.

                        Thanks
                        yo man, how are you doing with your coke problem? have you found and exit of it?, how are you dealing with it?, i want to let you know that we share the same problem and im looking forward to quit and finish this problem. Any lines will help and give me strenght, share your experience.
                        Peace.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by fredsta170 View Post
                          I'm going thru similar circumstances here as well, I know that after kicking the habit and breaking the pattern things will look and feel better, funny I don't have friends that get high on cocaine. I really need to get off this stuff. How are U guys doing since.

                          How long before after a 12 day absence from the stimulation factor, one can with dedication start feeling better. I know to expect some discomfort. can you take do something to alleviate the crave.

                          Fred
                          bro, im trying to fight the same problem, how are you dealing with it? did you find peace? did you quit it?
                          Did you tried treatment? or NA?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Jack_o_matic View Post
                            bro, im trying to fight the same problem, how are you dealing with it? did you find peace? did you quit it?
                            Did you tried treatment? or NA?
                            Hey Jack,

                            I truly feel for you, as I lived with a daily cocaine addiction for over a year - it was a nightmare. I went from being a successful businesswoman to an unemployed coke addict in that time - and lost nearly everything in the process. I could no longer hold a job, pay a bill or be any part of society, for that matter. My life centered entirely around the cocaine - finding the money for it, getting it - then back again, day after day.

                            For me, I was utterly broken by this obsession - and when I couldn't live that way any longer, I was then willing to get help. I could not do it on my own, Jack - this addiction is too powerful to try to do it alone. I went in-patient for treatment, and that's my best recommendation to you, as well. Cocaine wreaks havoc on our brain chemistry, and that fuels our return to the drug. It takes time for that chemistry to heal, so that we are able to feel "normal" feelings of pleasure or happiness.

                            Cocaine is a unique drug - the withdrawal doesn't present much for physical symptoms, but mentally and emotionally, it's awful. That 'dulling' of good feelings can continue for several months, and depression is a frequent cause for relapse. We want to give up - want to say it isn't worth it, if we're always going to feel that depressed. It helps to remember that picking up just one time will re-set your brain chemistry back to day one... and waiting that much longer for the "feel good" feelings to return to normal. By the time we have a few days or weeks under our belts, hopefully, we don't want to "undo" the progress we've made.

                            It helped me tremendously to be in-patient (in a treatment center) for that time period - in a safe place, where there was no chance of finding or using cocaine - surrounded by others who were going through the same thing. Sort of a 'safety net' period of time for me. At the same time, I was learning how to live life drug-free, which has been the foundation for my long-term recovery.

                            YES - I've been successful and YES, I've found true, lasting peace. It's been over 20 years since I last used cocaine. The first year was the toughest, lots of emotional highs and lows - but eventually, all withdrawal symptoms passed. I not only did the treatment in-patient, but I pursued regular (often daily) NA and AA meetings, as well. That's where i learned how to cope with (and enjoy!) life without drugs - and, thankfully, free of the obsessive thoughts and compulsive behavior of addiction. I never have a craving for cocaine; that left me within the first few months clean.

                            To be honest, Jack - I wouldn't trade the peace and joy I live with in recovery for a limitless supply of cocaine - or any other drug. There certainly is hope for you, I promise.

                            God bless,
                            Ruth

                            You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Ugh

                              Years ago, I never would have thought I would be taking cocaine on a daily basis for about 5 months, maybe 6. It's funny. Drinking was a big problem for me, and I quite very easily. I was blessed that there were no truly adverse consequences. However, if I don't quite this sometime soon, i.e., yesterday, my life is going to spin out of control.

                              Cocaine is so deceptive because one does not realize (at least in my way of thinking) that is becoming an addict. However, addiction is addiction, and I guess, after being off of alcohol for 5 years, I thought a little vice would not hurt. I was ABSOLUTELY WRONG.

                              I don't even really enjoy it anymore. If I don't enjoy it. Sometimes I get a huge headache, followed by nausea. Continuing is not the answer, but I seem to have a fear of being without it.

                              How did I start using? My companion was using for two years and then just decided enough was enough: cold turkey.

                              I have my plan, which includes going out of town to a place where I don't know a soul. I will sleep, work out, and let the toxins get out of my body. I know that I have a long road of me, but I can do it if I want to. "Just saying no" does seem so trite. But that's what I must do, or I'll lose everything I've worked for.

                              Thanks for all of the messages. You guys are great.

                              Comment

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