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A positive "getting off Suboxone" experience

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  • A positive "getting off Suboxone" experience

    Hi to all..... I am new here as a poster, but I have been reading other's experiences for quite sometime now. A little background on myself - I am a 36 year old, relatively in good shape/health, female with two children and a long time boyfriend who have been non the wiser to my story. I am also a full time student (RN) so I have a pretty busy life. I was a heavy user of Vicodene, Percocet, & Roxy's for about 3 years, and then I started mixing in Aderall and Methadone for about another 6 months. Then I started on Suboxone. That was about 3-1/2 years ago. I was induced at 24mg's a day and stayed there for about a year. I switched Dr's about half way through and he insisted that I start weening and get off them. I, of course, didn't follow his advice. I wound up, about a month ago, making a decision to get off Suboxone - for good. I got myself down to about .5mg a day for a week, I skipped 4 days, had to take .25mg for 3 days, skipped 3 days, and then 14 days ago took my last dose of approx .125mg. It has been kinda rough, and it's not a method I would recommend, but I have to say it really hasn't been terrible. I had a few days where I thought there is no way in hell I can do this, but with kind words of encouragement from Robert and other's on this forum I have so far suceeded! I still don't sleep worth a darn and there are times when I just don't feel right, but overall I am ok :-) I have not missed any school/clinical time because of this, I have been able to take care of my family, and I have found support and courage from various sources when I need it.

    I do not handle wd's very well, it's my least favorite thing in the world, although as many times as I have sufferred through them some might think differentI have to say that your frame of mind really impacts your experience. At times I felt very discouraged or anxious (which I have never experienced before so I have a whole new outlook on anxiety!) so it was hard for me to deal. My first instict was to call the dr., but I knew that was not the road I wanted to head down, so I reached out and found the support I needed. I wish anyone who is weening, stopping, or starting Suboxone all the best wishes! If you use it correctly, and stop it correctly, it can be a life changing experience. It has really put things into perspective for me

    Good luck to everyone and God Bless!

  • #2
    You did awesome! So proud of your accomplishment. Congratulations and God bless.

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    • #3
      Dear Suboxone - I bid you adieu

      Well it has been 20 days since my last dose (God it feels good to say that - my last dose!), and I feel great! I find that I am able to take pleasure in so many things that I have been just going through the motions with, and I love it. I shaved my legs today and for about 5 seconds, until I got goose bumps , loved the way my skin felt all nice and smooth. Later while I was sitting on the couch my youngest son came and sat next to me and touched my face and I almost cried because it was like I was feeling his tiny hand on me for the first time. Life is so beautiful and precious! I am happy to say I finally have mine back.

      Sleep is returning to me slowly but surely, and it is truly a wonderful thing. A wise man once told me, “Stay positive and one morning you'll wake up realizing you actually slept and didn't pass out. That is when you are at the end of all this.” And positive I am a staying! Each day gets better and better, sweeter and sweeter!

      I won't be so bold to say never again, afterall, never again is what I swore the time before, but I can definatively say not for now! Good luck and God Bless to anyone who is tapering or going cold turkey. Just remember you too can do this!

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      • #4
        Proud of you my friend! God bless.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Robert_325 View Post
          Proud of you my friend! God bless.
          You have been instrumental in my sucess so thank you from the bottom and top of my heart! You are a wonderful person and I am indebted! God bless you and your wife. You both provide much needed wisdom, support, and kindness for which I am grateful! Thank you again, and I'm glad you feel better :-) Hope you have a wonderful afternoon!

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Dunwithitall View Post
            Well it has been 20 days since my last dose (God it feels good to say that - my last dose!), and I feel great! I find that I am able to take pleasure in so many things that I have been just going through the motions with, and I love it. I shaved my legs today and for about 5 seconds, until I got goose bumps , loved the way my skin felt all nice and smooth. Later while I was sitting on the couch my youngest son came and sat next to me and touched my face and I almost cried because it was like I was feeling his tiny hand on me for the first time. Life is so beautiful and precious! I am happy to say I finally have mine back.

            Sleep is returning to me slowly but surely, and it is truly a wonderful thing. A wise man once told me, “Stay positive and one morning you'll wake up realizing you actually slept and didn't pass out. That is when you are at the end of all this.” And positive I am a staying! Each day gets better and better, sweeter and sweeter!

            I won't be so bold to say never again, afterall, never again is what I swore the time before, but I can definatively say not for now! Good luck and God Bless to anyone who is tapering or going cold turkey. Just remember you too can do this!
            Dunwithitall...thanks for posting this today.. It's brought tears to my eyes.
            I don't know why I'm feeling so flat and sad today ( well there's a few reasons) usually I'm better equiped to cope but I seem to have a crack in my armour today.
            I'm sooo pleased to hear life is good and getting better each day!
            You are so positive and thats so important, look forward to hearing more from you.
            My regards and kudos to you...Sookie

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by sookie3 View Post
              Dunwithitall...thanks for posting this today.. It's brought tears to my eyes.
              I don't know why I'm feeling so flat and sad today ( well there's a few reasons) usually I'm better equiped to cope but I seem to have a crack in my armour today.
              I'm sooo pleased to hear life is good and getting better each day!
              You are so positive and thats so important, look forward to hearing more from you.
              My regards and kudos to you...Sookie
              Thank you Sookie for the kind response. I'm sorry you are/were feeling so down. Just keep telling yourself that this too shall pass. Temporary loss of coping skills is perfectly normal :-) recognizing the situation and how you go about "fixing" the problem is what counts. You are doing a great job!
              I am not usually an emotional person, but during parts of my taper and even when I stopped completely I cried for days at a time. My boyfriend kept asking me if I was pregnant becuase he has never seen me so emotional.
              I'm learning that it's perfectly normal to feel which is kinda new to me since I have been so numb for so long. It's wierd, but in a good way, and sometimes embarassing since I can't control my emotions yet (like when I'm listening to a song that touches me and either I get teary eyed or I get goose bumps on top of goose bumps and everyone around me is looking at me like what is wrong with you :-)) but I would rather let them in, feel them, and then process them later if I have to rather than not feeling anything at all. You are a strong person I can tell from your posts and you have a great attitude which makes a difference. You also have lots of people rooting for you and in your corner so you are not alone! And if there is anything you need please don't hesitate to ask! I'm here for you and I'm proud of you!

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              • #8
                Just a thought

                I was thinking about writing a nursing care plan. There are three things you have to do in order to formulate a goal for your patient while keeping their well being in mind, and in order to be successful. The goal must be time measurable, realistic, and attainable. It’s so funny how hard formulating these three things can be. Putting a time frame on some things is impossible so a good rule of thumb is keeping it short. Some long term goals are measured in 20 minute increments while others are measured by the end of our 12 hour shift. It’s hard not to get ahead of yourself sometimes. And this is even truer when it comes to you. Also you have to realize that everyone is an individual so what worked on patient A probably won’t work on patient B since we are all so different. So you have to be realistic based on their history, overall health, and their frame of mind. Lastly it has to be attainable by that person. So telling a historic COPD patient that they are going go up and down the hall three times without having to stop and catch their breath is a little ridiculous.
                I found this funny because I now have 3 weeks clean and I have read stories of people who have tried to get clean, but wind up going back to their drug of choice because they don’t feel right or normal as many refer to it. I don’t know about them, but I’m pretty sure my normal is very different from other people’s normal. Normal is so individual. At first when I stopped my meds I felt very abnormal. And unpleasant! But I realized as the days passed and I was able to stop thinking about how I should feel or how someone else felt when they were where I was, I could let how I was feeling be my normal for that moment and it didn’t suck half as bad as what I thought. I am not a high energy person to begin with so lethargy is pretty normal for me. Now I just work at my own pace, walk at my own pace, and listen to my body. When I’m tired I rest. After all, when I think about this is not the hardest thing I have ever done.
                When I was younger, around age 12 or so, I started drinking and smoking cigarettes. By the latter part of 13 I was smoking pot everyday (even though I didn’t really like it – all my friends did it and you know how that goes), and eventually started using cocaine. I stopped using all drugs when I was 15 because my mother and father moved us to this God awful place out in the boonies and I didn’t know anybody. Boy did that change fast. I fell in with “druggie” crowd fast and before I knew it I was back on the fast track. Ecstasy was becoming popular so of course I tried it and fell in love. By the time I was 16 I got my ass beat by a man twice my size and he also raped me. My parents divorced and my mother moved us back to the city. I dabbled here and there, but was always able to stop when I had enough or didn’t have the money so I never considered myself and addict. When I was 19 I joined the military and graduated boot camp with honors. I put on 4 strips in 4 years and then got out. I found a job quickly and met my now ex-husband. We were married for 7 years during which he broke my arm, beat me up several times, held a knife to me and our newborn son, chocked me until I was unconscious, and threatened endlessly to kill me. I now have full custody of our two beautiful sons so I got the last laugh! And the reasons that make all that worth it. Needless to say once we got divorced I fell in love again only this time with roxy, oxy, Methadone, Adderall, and whatever else I could get my hands on. It all went down hill from there and about 4 years ago I started taking Suboxone. I changed my life, ditched all my old “friends”, and started a new life.
                I am now less than 6 months away from graduating school, and for the first time in almost 7 years I can say I am clean! I have a strong will, and as I think back on all the ???? I have done, whether it has been to myself or by someone else’s doing, I have been through tougher times and have prevailed each and every time. This time will be no different! If anyone out there reads this please know that we are all individuals, no two of us the same, so focusing on how another felt when they were where you are may bring nothing but disappointment and feelings of doubt. Try focusing on you, and take it slow. If you have to take a step back, well then do it - regroup, and press on. One day at a time works, and remember we didn’t get where we are now overnight so getting back to our normal won’t happen that way either Good luck to you all and God Bless! My thoughts and prayers are with you!


                Talking to my older, life is what you make it, and if you make it death well rest your soul – Andrew Wood (Mother Love Bone)

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Dunwithitall View Post
                  Thank you Sookie for the kind response. I'm sorry you are/were feeling so down. Just keep telling yourself that this too shall pass. Temporary loss of coping skills is perfectly normal :-) recognizing the situation and how you go about "fixing" the problem is what counts. You are doing a great job!
                  I am not usually an emotional person, but during parts of my taper and even when I stopped completely I cried for days at a time. My boyfriend kept asking me if I was pregnant becuase he has never seen me so emotional.
                  I'm learning that it's perfectly normal to feel which is kinda new to me since I have been so numb for so long. It's wierd, but in a good way, and sometimes embarassing since I can't control my emotions yet (like when I'm listening to a song that touches me and either I get teary eyed or I get goose bumps on top of goose bumps and everyone around me is looking at me like what is wrong with you :-)) but I would rather let them in, feel them, and then process them later if I have to rather than not feeling anything at all. You are a strong person I can tell from your posts and you have a great attitude which makes a difference. You also have lots of people rooting for you and in your corner so you are not alone! And if there is anything you need please don't hesitate to ask! I'm here for you and I'm proud of you!
                  Dunwithital......Such a beautiful statement!! I don't know where I'd be without you guys..This morning has been a little challenging following on from yesterday I guess.
                  You are so supportive of me and that is priceless...I'm so glad you continue to post It's such a help for me at the moment you don't even know how much...Sob..
                  You are a gem.....I wish I could hug you right now!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by sookie3 View Post
                    Dunwithital......Such a beautiful statement!! I don't know where I'd be without you guys..This morning has been a little challenging following on from yesterday I guess.
                    You are so supportive of me and that is priceless...I'm so glad you continue to post It's such a help for me at the moment you don't even know how much...Sob..
                    You are a gem.....I wish I could hug you right now!
                    Mental hug!!!! And you are doing beautifully, just put one foot in front of the other and before you know it you will be running ;-) My thoughts and prayers are with you and if I can offer up any encouragement please don't hesitate to ask. Sometimes having someone else tell you it's going to be ok goes a long way, so I am here to tell you it is going to be more than ok! Your going to be more than ok! Keep it up Sookie!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      WOW!

                      That is amazing and brought tears to my eyes! So proud of you! I am working with Robert and he is an amazing man and he is helping me so much! I trust him more than i may have trusted anyone in my life. He is really helping me through this and i too feel indebted to him! Thanks for all your encouragement and i think you have done a wonderful job. I want to be where you are. I am going through with this taper and it will not be long and i will be clean and sober. I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THAT DAY!!!! God Bless

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                      • #12
                        Keep me posted on how the sleeping goes, it seems like everything is coming back right on time for you! Good Luck!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Amazing story! It must feel amazing to be where you are now -- congrats!

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Bean222 View Post
                            WOW!

                            That is amazing and brought tears to my eyes! So proud of you! I am working with Robert and he is an amazing man and he is helping me so much! I trust him more than i may have trusted anyone in my life. He is really helping me through this and i too feel indebted to him! Thanks for all your encouragement and i think you have done a wonderful job. I want to be where you are. I am going through with this taper and it will not be long and i will be clean and sober. I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THAT DAY!!!! God Bless
                            Thank you for the positive response and the kind words. Just take it one day at a time and you will be here before you know it. Robert is wonderful and the service he provides is invaluable! Trust in yourself too becuase afterall you are the one doing the work while Robert is your guide. It's a beautiful process! Be proud of yourself as well, you are doing a fantastic job! Hope you have a wonderful day and God Bless!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Brand, BRAND new

                              we have A LOT of similarities! I LOVE this forum. have been following it for a while and was too afraid to join but finally did when I read what you wrote. It's so good to hear so many success stories written somewhere bc so many things you read just make you even more scared. I am currently tapering of suboxone and I can't wait to be done with this stuff. I hate it. I too have been on it for three years and am just so over it. I KNOW I can do this....it's just that fear thing that kinda starts to derail me but I know that is just what our brains do. It's crazy. This is like my dirty little secret. SO many ppl would be shocked if they knew I was taking this stuff. Reading all the different experiences that ppl on here write helps immensely Congrats on your accomplishment of getting done and thanks so much for posting your experience. Know that you have touched someone all the way out in california
                              Last edited by Anonymous; 12-30-2011, 02:30 PM.

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