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Longtime Sub abuser, Gettin' my taper on...rapidly..

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  • #91
    Originally posted by EgoPunch View Post
    motivation...where do you buy that??
    I was buying it on the streets, in 8mg strips, but that is no longer an option....

    Well, it's an option, but it aint gonna happen...

    As a matter of fact, I've got about 800-900mgs of motivation right here beside me in my desk, but it's not getting touched until I flush it down the drain in a week or so...

    I should go ahead and do that actually...

    Just thinking out load here...


    -Buck

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    • #92
      Hey Buckeroo....Ego....
      Buck, I feel your pain Brother...Man oh Man, if youve gone back and read some of my posts, the Fatigue was literally KILLING me!!!! UGH...I mean, I was on the Oxys for 5+ years, and everything ELSE under the Sun before that....and you KNOW what Im saying when I say I felt like SUPERMAN for the past 5 +years! LOL....Man, there was NOTHING I couldnt do!!! I get up at 4:30-5am, Pop 3 Blues, (30 mg Oxy) and Hit the Hooks Baby!!! Work like a DOG on my Property, or at the Hunt Camp and NEVER slow down til 10-11pm!! I would take upwards of 10-15 of em a DAY!!! (300-450mgs)
      But WOW, when I got on the Subs....Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh MAN, the Fatigue!!! It was ConSTANT...Every Day, Day in and day out...I was thinking to myself "Man, maybe this is just the way I am Supposed to feel at 57 yrs old!!!"
      And Believe me, I was getting to think it really WAS going to be with me for the rest of my Liife! But ya know what? ....THATS WHAT!!!! (LOL....Sorry, couldnt resist...) Im feeling MUCH better now since my Jump! Its coming back slowly, I still have days where I dont feel 100%, but they are getting few and far between now...Even that Gul-derned RLS is beginning to Subside....THAT was a Horror story in itself!

      The Moral of my Long-Winded story is...."This too shall Pass" my Brother...I PROMISE! Your a Young man, and for some reason those Subs just "Take it out of us" man...But is our Body repairing itself...from YEARS of abuse....
      Try to eat a Well Balanced Diet Bro...Lots of Fruits and Veggies, Try not to over eat, and try, as hard as it may be...(it is for ME anyway) to stay away from the Red Meats, and Burgers....Heavy Meals...and Eating Late and stuff like that! Take your Vitamins, and Supplements, and Drink LOTS of water, every little bit helps with the Fatigue Bro...
      Your doing Great man....Stick with it, and trust me...you'll be back to your old self soon!!!!

      Your ol Pal Harry
      Last edited by Anonymous; 01-10-2013, 05:12 PM. Reason: spelling

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      • #93
        800-900mgs?! Good God, man! What I wouldn't give for one hundredth of that to do a proper taper...lol.

        My situation is what it is tho. I deserve what's coming I suppose. The day after tomorrow will be the last day I ever put sub in my system. I've been waking up with a headache every morning, and snee...ehh. I'll finish that post on my thread. I don't want to hi-jack your thread, bro. lol.

        The motivation tho...I dunno, man. Maybe if you try listening to some music, and going for a short walk or something? Inspirational, or funny films? I don't know. Sometimes i'll watch military documentaries, like surviving the cut, when they train to be airborne, or for spec ops. It reminds me of the stuff I went through as a soldier, and helps to give me an attitude like nothing can hurt me, nothing can stop me...I am a machine. lol. That may not work for everyone. It only helps me a little bit. Maybe if you try and get angry...RAAAARRRRGGH!!!! I KILL YOU SUBOXONE! I KILL YOUR FACE OFF IN ZE TOILET!!! Ahem. Sorry. I wonder if some form of artistic expression would help, ie: drawing, sculpting...LEGOS! Duuuude, lego's...

        Ok, i'm getting off track here (legos do rock tho). Maybe try and look at each symptom as a new way that your body is repairing itself. Somebody said that somewhere recently, or something like it. I forgot where I saw that. Anyway, like when you have to shut off the breaker, and kill the lights in your house to do electrical work...down for maintenance. lol. When the power gets turned back on tho, everything is going to be better and brighter than before. Harry said some things up there that I need to start doing myself...like taking vitamins, and supplements. Harry boot-to-butt Smooth...lol.

        Aight, homie. I gotta run (so far from literally). I'll catch up with ya later. Keep that chin up, dude...like you are THE man...unstoppable...superhuman...like, what you're going thru right now would KILL anyone else, any normal human being...but not you. It's just going to make YOU feel like ze doodoo for awhile, because you're unbreakable. Word? Word.

        Peace, bro.
        ep
        Last edited by Anonymous; 01-10-2013, 08:14 PM.

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        • #94
          Ok..

          This is it...

          I was going to wait untill later in the day, or tomorrow to announce this just in case I failed (not an option, but I'm just being honest)...

          I'M JUMPING TODAY!!!

          After reading Harry and Swayze's posts, it pushed me over the top. I was already planning on jumping today. I didn't realize it until I woke up this morning. I immediatley thought to myself "Today is the day"

          Yesterday was the last time I'll take Subs in my life, unless I decide to skip days, but to me, once I've set my mind to this, it's gotta get done...

          My last dose was .125mgs yesterday afternoon at about 3:00...

          From everything that I've read, the worst days are days 3 and 4...

          Today is Friday obviosly. I work a short 5 hour shift (will feel like 10 hours) tomorrow and then I'm off work Sunday and Monday which is day 3 and 4...

          One day at a time..

          Wish me luck guys and girls. You guys really are a big part of me even getting to this point to even attempt as jump....

          Ok, now it's time for --- "I KILL YOU SUBOXONE! I KILL YOUR FACE OFF IN ZE TOILET!!!"



          -Buck

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          • #95
            WOW....good for u Buck! i wish u all the best and hope any symptoms are entirely tolerable. and with ur extremely positive attitude, there should be no problems that cause u any concern.

            Woo~Hoooo! U DID IT! first day clean with many more to follow!

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            • #96
              Originally posted by Kikker View Post
              WOW....good for u Buck! i wish u all the best and hope any symptoms are entirely tolerable. and with ur extremely positive attitude, there should be no problems that cause u any concern.

              Woo~Hoooo! U DID IT! first day clean with many more to follow!
              Thanks for posting that Kikk Dawg...

              For every person that responds, each one gives me more motivation because that is another person that I'm going to let down if I fail...

              I'm sure this is one of the main reasons that people that go through this have support groups...

              I would ultimetly only be letting myself down, but it would feel like I'm letting every one of you down too that have helped me get to this point. That's how much you guys all mean to me...

              I can never give you guys back what you've given me but I will do my best to carry on the deed by helping out the next addict in line that's trying to get clean..

              Each and every one of you could've left this site when you got clean but you didn't. You've all given back to the site what you got out of it and much more. I would love to be able to pay it forward as you all have, and I fully intend to. Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart for being there when I needed it..

              Special thanks to you Kikker. I' know I've told you this before, but you were the one person that always told me exactly what I needed to hear, instead of what I wanted to hear. Much appreciatted..

              -Buck

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              • #97
                Also, I just re-read your post Kikk...

                It says "first day clean with many more to follow!"

                I know this probably sounds really stupid, but I didn't even think of it like that until I said it out loud...

                I'm in survival mode right now and it didn't even don on me like that..

                -Buck

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                • #98
                  24 hours in the books!!!

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                  • #99
                    Originally posted by Buckeye13 View Post
                    24 hours in the books!!!
                    Woooo Hooooooo.....it only gets better and better! welcome to ur new life Buck!

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                    • Good luck, my friend...and congrats! You've just jumped from ze plane. However you tapered down will determine how hard you hit the ground...and when you do, you're gonna get up, and start marching up that hill. Whatever you tapered down to may have made that hill a little less steep, but you already know, it isn't going to be easy. Keep marching on, bro. You'll have friends bringing you water, and food for your soul.

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                      • Originally posted by Kikker View Post
                        Woooo Hooooooo.....it only gets better and better! welcome to ur new life Buck!
                        Thanks Kikk..

                        Gotta be honest...hope it gets better soon...

                        I've gotta pay the price for what I did to myself though...

                        So far, it's not too bad but we'll see how tonight goes when I try to sleep..

                        I have to put on a strong front tonight when I get home from work so I don't use up any of my "I'm sick" time at home yet...

                        Wifey is about to think that I came down with the flu...

                        I hate to continue on with the lies and secrets but it's almost all over with...

                        I hope to sit down some day in the future and tell her everything, but I'm going to wait until I climb us out of the financial hole that I put us in. Nothing major financial wise, not in danger of losing the house, cars, etc, but sometimes when it comes time to buy diapers or anything that takes some extra cash, it hasn't been there because I was blowing it on Subs...

                        I get a decent chunk of my pay under the table at work so that's how I was able to afford the Subs without her knowing. I also sold some weed in the early years of my use to make a couple hundred bones a week to support my stupid habit...Talk about hiding a lot of things from a spouse. Geesh!


                        Anyways, that's for another day...

                        Positive vibes...

                        -Buck

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                        • Originally posted by EgoPunch View Post
                          Good luck, my friend...and congrats! You've just jumped from ze plane. However you tapered down will determine how hard you hit the ground...and when you do, you're gonna get up, and start marching up that hill. Whatever you tapered down to may have made that hill a little less steep, but you already know, it isn't going to be easy. Keep marching on, bro. You'll have friends bringing you water, and food for your soul.
                          Thanks man..

                          I know it sounds weird but I'm ready to get hit upside the head with WDs...

                          I feel like I deserve it...

                          But if they don't come on hard, I wont be disappointed obviously...


                          I'm going at this full speed ahead like a train bolting down the track that can't stop even if it wanted to...

                          Yoyoyo Sub, try to stop me now sucka...

                          -Buck

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                          • Originally posted by Buckeye13 View Post
                            Thanks man..

                            I know it sounds weird but I'm ready to get hit upside the head with WDs...

                            I feel like I deserve it...

                            But if they don't come on hard, I wont be disappointed obviously...


                            I'm going at this full speed ahead like a train bolting down the track that can't stop even if it wanted to...

                            Yoyoyo Sub, try to stop me now sucka...

                            -Buck

                            Dude, I know exactly what you mean. I just want the wd's to come and kick my butt already. It's been almost 26 hours since my last dose, and i'm wondering if I should jump, or just go ahead and take what I have left...yeah. I'll do that actually. Today is your day, my friend. I'll take what I have left today, and make tomorrow my first day sub free (that answers your question from earlier). I'll be a day behind you. Besides, if we jumped together, wouldn't that be gay or something...like, showing up at a party together wearing the same shirt...? lol. Good luck, homie. Sincerely. Don't forget about the Thomas recipe, and keep posting!

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                            • Originally posted by EgoPunch View Post
                              Dude, I know exactly what you mean. I just want the wd's to come and kick my butt already. It's been almost 26 hours since my last dose, and i'm wondering if I should jump, or just go ahead and take what I have left..!
                              Well, if you didn't already take your dose, you could jump if your comfortable because it sounds like we both had our last dose at about 3:00 yesterday...

                              It would be interesting to see the difference in the detox with my stlye of taper and yours since we are both male and we're pretty much the same age, (I'm 30, u r 33) and we have zero support from our women at home...

                              If not, tomorrow you'll be READY....

                              I can tell you are READY for this too...

                              -Buck

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by EgoPunch View Post
                                Besides, if we jumped together, wouldn't that be gay or something...like, showing up at a party together wearing the same shirt...? lol. Good luck, homie. Sincerely. Don't forget about the Thomas recipe, and keep posting!
                                I just read this part of your post because I was in a rush to respond to you in case you hadn't taken your dose yet...


                                Please Swayze, dis-regard my previous post...

                                I would love to be "partners" with you in this, but not like that lol


                                -Buck

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