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On my sub taper and could use advice.

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  • #46
    Harry hope all is well with you and I really like what Steph said to you and that is try not to over think and trust the process. Also she mentions about if you can stay busy when jumping the better off you may be. I did not have to miss any work at all when I started the skip days and when I jumped. And I was 57 when I tapered and jumped Harry as opposed to a young pup like Steph lol. Your doing well Harry and I will talk to you later.

    Alex

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    • #47
      Oof that should say "100% better after I got moving". Lol. Regardless I think moving around is good, if you sit around feeling sorry for yourself you are going to feel bad. Just tell yourself whatever hurdles you encounter will be worth the prize. You can't put a price on sobriety and all of this is temporary. Next year when you mark your one year anniversary it will all seem like a distant memory and you will ask yourself what you were so scared of.

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      • #48
        Thanks for the advise guys I'm sure you guys are most certainly right.

        Today was my first day of .25. Tomorrow will be my first skip day! My plan is to take my last dose Sunday then I'm off! The fatigue is really kicking my butt throughout the day. I have small bursts of energy then the rest is just blaaaahhhhh. But in all honesty I'm ok with it because the positives waaaaaay outweigh the negatives.

        Alex I bought all the vitamins you mentioned so I am really hoping it will help. I am NOT going to stop my life in any way when I jump off, my plan is to march forward with my head up high. No calling out of work no canceling anything, life will go on. I have a script of klonopin that I never refilled from about 6 months ago and I'm tempted to use them to aid me for the next week. My sleeping is in short, terrible. My sleeping patterns have been erratic for the last 10 years or so and it got infinitely worse in the last few. I'm tempted to use the klonopin just as a sleep aid to get me through the initial week after my jump. I feel very confident in myself and my ability to control my consumption. What do you guys think about this? I know Ruth would probably tear me a new one with logic if she heard this and I'm probably suffering from the "but I'm different" syndrome but benzos were never my cup of tea...in fact nothing was...only opiates.

        Steph, Alex, I am taking your advise on not to overthink the jump to heart. I am breaking into new territory and it's exhilarating and frightening but I will not obsess about it.

        Talk to you all soon!

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        • #49
          Honestly I think you nailed it when you said Ruth wouldn't agree. I don't think using another drug to get you through w/d is a good idea. You are trading one drug for another, even if you think you could control it. Did you ever take it by itself? You said they were never your cup of tea but you've never been in this situation before.

          I know it's tempting but I vote no. Stick with melatonin and Sleepy Time tea and hot baths. You need to create a bed time ritual. Stay away from iPads, Kindles, etc. try reading a real book before bed. Set yourself up to be relaxed when you turn the light off. If you work yourself up into thinking you won't sleep, you probably won't.

          Now, I won't lie. My sleep was choppy but I was able of get blocks of 4 hours. It comes back over time, I have never slept well either.

          If you decide to fill the Klonopin no one will judge you, it's up to you. I just worry about benzo's, addicts are addicts for a reason. If you do fill them be careful.

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          • #50
            Harry if today was your first day at .25 why are you going to the skip day already? Are you out of subs now? I would dose at .25 for 4 days then start the skip days. As for the klonopin if you fill that script for it Harry please be very careful with benzo use. If you can only use them for a very short period of time then I would say no harm but speaking to you addict to addict I hate to see you fill the script. I know lack of sleep can be very frustrating as ive had insomnia ever since I can remember. I take a sleep aid almost every night but its not in the benzo family and is non narcotic. Another thing about taking klonopin is that if you have low energy now it might make your energy even worse. Anyway my best wishes on whatever you decide and I will talk to you later

            Alex

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            • #51
              You guys are probably right. The funny thing is, is that ever since I started to begin this taper I was looking forward to using my klonopin script at the end.

              Alex I thought once I drop to my final dose I start skipping days? Do I start skipping AFTER 4 days?

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              • #52
                Originally posted by Harry Spotter View Post
                Thanks for the advise guys I'm sure you guys are most certainly right.

                Today was my first day of .25. Tomorrow will be my first skip day! My plan is to take my last dose Sunday then I'm off! The fatigue is really kicking my butt throughout the day. I have small bursts of energy then the rest is just blaaaahhhhh. But in all honesty I'm ok with it because the positives waaaaaay outweigh the negatives.

                Alex I bought all the vitamins you mentioned so I am really hoping it will help. I am NOT going to stop my life in any way when I jump off, my plan is to march forward with my head up high. No calling out of work no canceling anything, life will go on. I have a script of klonopin that I never refilled from about 6 months ago and I'm tempted to use them to aid me for the next week. My sleeping is in short, terrible. My sleeping patterns have been erratic for the last 10 years or so and it got infinitely worse in the last few. I'm tempted to use the klonopin just as a sleep aid to get me through the initial week after my jump. I feel very confident in myself and my ability to control my consumption. What do you guys think about this? I know Ruth would probably tear me a new one with logic if she heard this and I'm probably suffering from the "but I'm different" syndrome but benzos were never my cup of tea...in fact nothing was...only opiates.

                Steph, Alex, I am taking your advise on not to overthink the jump to heart. I am breaking into new territory and it's exhilarating and frightening but I will not obsess about it.

                Talk to you all soon!
                On the sleep deal, I was advised to take vitamins in the morning and melatonin before bed. It's been working for me but, every case is different.

                I'm pulling for you and know by your attitude and determination you'll make it through. You are leading the way for some of us newbies.

                Comment


                • #53
                  Yes, only skip after 4 days or once stable at .25 mg. Some people even go lower - to .125 mg - but I don't know if that's an option for you.

                  Glad to see you're doing so well!
                  Kat

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Lincoln

                    Don't start skipping until you are stable at .25. Stay at .25 for at least 4 days, if you need a few extra days at the end, take them.

                    Maybe wait to fill the scrip. See how it goes after you jump, if you have to go get the scrip you will be more likely to think about whether you really need it or not. If you have the bottle it's too easy to grab one. I worry about the fact you were looking forward to using them after your jump.

                    Try setting up a bedtime ritual that encourages sleep and relaxes you. It sounds stupid but it helps to slow your mind down and you will be more likely to get some sleep.

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                    • #55
                      Whoops I got mixed up but now that you guys informed me I will stay on .25 for another two days then skip. I am confident in myself to skip now but as the saying here goes "do it right, do it once". Thanks for the heads up Alex.

                      I take vitamins and sleep medication every.single.night Lincoln and my body is so used to it. My bed isn't just a place where I sleep- I browse my ipad watch movies read books etc, so Steph I will take your advise and start a sleeping ritual. If I can break my addiction then I know I can change my sleep cycle. That's the most important thing I have learned from this process, it's that anything is possible when you put your mind to it. The human mind is absolutely incredible. I feel more confident now than I have maybe EVER.

                      I have learned to embrace uncertainty and it is a beautiful thing. When I first started this taper I was scared poopless. So uncertain and frightened thinking to myself, "your probably going to relapse anyways so why even bother?". So frightened about being uncomfortable throughout the whole taper. But if you never try then you will never know. I'm still frightened, but it's a different kind of frightened now. It's the roller coaster kind of frightened where it's exhilarating at the same time and it's exciting! We all have one life...let's not live a life of regret.

                      I am still trying to find my place in the world. But now I am clearheaded and my decisions are much smarter. You know, that's another thing that I learned throughout this process, it's that once the fog lifts all your problems don't just magically disappear, in fact it becomes crystal clear and it can be overwhelming. I can so see why people relapse and turn back to drugs, it's because your not used to seeing everything so vividly and it can be scary. Once your not all doped up your life doesn't magically rearrange itself neatly so that everything is peachy....but...the beauty of it is that you can assess and deal with everything much more intelligently.

                      I am not fully clean and I don't want to come off pretentious because believe me I still struggle. But now the struggle is so worth it. People say that you have to hit rock bottom to turn things around but everyone's rock bottom is different. My rock bottom was when I couldn't even bare to look at myself in the mirror anymore. Now, I fancy myself in the mirror quite a bit .

                      There is still much to do...talk to you all soon!

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Good morning Spot !

                        The positivity is so evident in your last post Man and from my experience that goes a long way getting threw a taper . I will say this about my case - Just 3-4 short weeks ago I would see the sun come up every few days after a night of rampant insomnia . Had been that way for years , long before subs or handful of pills days . I got in a routine like mentioned above and for the most part have been sleeping much better . No pc after 10:30 or so , in bed by 11-1130 with everything done so I don't have to get back up and take my melatonin .

                        Gosh so true that seeing things so vividly can be a bit scary . Busy body keeps the mind occupied eh .

                        You are doing great Man and this part will soon be over . Stay strong , be well and have peace !

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Harry

                          I read that the light from our Ipads, Kindle's, laptops, etc keep us awake. It tricks your brain into thinking it's day time and screws up your sleep patterns. So that's why I suggest turning everything off and reading a book or a magazine before bed. If taking a hot bath or shower helps relax you then do that too. I think Blondie said she made a big production out of clean sheets, hot shower and clean pajamas and her Sleepy Time tea and a good book. You'd be surprised how well that works. It's like it tricks your mind into relaxing and you can slow down all those thoughts and actually doze off. I'm not saying you're going to get a full 8 hours of sleep at first, but if you can get a good chunk at one time you'll feel amazing. It's that chopping, 2 hours here and there that really messes with you.

                          Yup, being clear headed is a little scary sometimes because you're able to full comprehend the damage you've done. But I think seeing it and acknowledging it is really important, it's a step towards staying clean. If you can remember how you felt when you thought about all the stupid or bad things you did when you were high it helps you associate THAT feeling with using rather than the 'fun' feeling you remember so well. Also, towards the end was it even fun anymore? I know it wasn't for me, it was just about keeping the demon's away. I rarely got a buzz anymore and if I did it was very short lived. So I don't even really think about that aspect, I think that ship sailed a LONG time ago.

                          Anyway, just keep taking it one day at a time.

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                          • #58
                            Harry so I didn't get back to you earlier and I see its already been answered but you want to be good and stable at .25 befor you start the skip days. Your real close to the finish line Harry so don't rush things. Be over with befor you know it. Talk with you later.

                            Alex

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                            • #59
                              Hi everyone

                              So after staying on .25 for 4 days today was my first skip day. Besides being extremely exhausted and a little cranky I can say it went smoothly. I have been thinking and I really don't want to do the skip days and instead just JUMP off NOW. I know that Steph only did 1 skip day, dosed then jumped so I am pretty sure it's possible. I am just very excited to turn a new chapter in my life. I don't want to get ahead of myself here so il wait to see how I feel tomorrow.

                              Il update later...I'm very tired and my bed looks like heaven!

                              Talk to you all soon.

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                Harry you have done a pretty quick taper so perhaps you don't need the skip days. I would just listen to your body now and take it from there. You have done a great job with your taper and give us an update tomorrow on what you decide.

                                Alex

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