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  • #76
    I hear you about nurses. I ALWAYS as the nurse after the doc leaves. My mom has problems with her lungs and was in the hospital last summer while they tried to figure out what was wrong. Man, it's a good thing my mom worked as an admitting clerk and transcriptionist. They had her on prednisone and other stuff, her sugar was slightly, I mean slightly elevated, as can happen with high prednisone (tell me if I'm wrong, LOL, i never remember med. stuff). Anyhow, one evening a nurse comes in with a syringe: she was going to give her INSULIN!!! The nurse knew what was up, but the doc ordered it, told my mom what it was and did a kinda wink/wink, needless to say my mom REFUSED, good lord, the docs (some 4 year old they just made a doc) could have killed her! GOOD nurses KNOW WHAT'S UP.
    Gettin' you should read ARTIST658's thread, she writes a ton about addiction, theories of what causes it. One interesting one is a chemical called "THIQ" that addicts seem to have an abundance of once it's triggered by a mood altering substance. I love your post, YOU NAILED IT.

    Rose

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    • #77
      Jay: I'm hoping your day is going well and by that i mean that ALL IS WELL. It's a nice sunny spring day here, at least for today and it's supposed to be 70 on Saturday. Can't wait to here the peepers in the woods across the street. Think I'm going to try to learn how to make your ginger tea, sounds good!!!

      Rose

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      • #78
        @ Rose...how ya been? Ya this spring weather is great...70 sounds awesome...the birds have been coming back so i notice...think i even heard a Bee buzz by.... figured spring being a time of renewal...perfect time to quit suboxone and replace with walks outside...sitting in the sun or under a shade tree drinking ice tea or lemon aid. Speaking of lemonaide just got home from my oldest son he had a play at school called lemonaide....the moral of the story is when life hands you lemons you make lemonaide....i know sounds cheezy but seeing my son up there with all the other second graders really reminded me what is important in life and reiteratte why I'm quitting drugs


        just to think a few years ago i was homeless and hopelessly strung out on dope...today I'm clean and sober and in my sons (both of em) lives.....


        anyway they are blessings from god who has given me yet another chance........

        I'M really. reaaly lucky man.


        so ya I'm doing well...gonna drop to .5 on sunday...I'm ready...then .4 a week from sunday and so forth...slow and low....steady as she goes......

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        • #79
          Originally posted by jayryan View Post
          @ Rose...how ya been? Ya this spring weather is great...70 sounds awesome...the birds have been coming back so i notice...think i even heard a Bee buzz by.... figured spring being a time of renewal...perfect time to quit suboxone and replace with walks outside...sitting in the sun or under a shade tree drinking ice tea or lemon aid. Speaking of lemonaide just got home from my oldest son he had a play at school called lemonaide....the moral of the story is when life hands you lemons you make lemonaide....i know sounds cheezy but seeing my son up there with all the other second graders really reminded me what is important in life and reiteratte why I'm quitting drugs


          just to think a few years ago i was homeless and hopelessly strung out on dope...today I'm clean and sober and in my sons (both of em) lives.....


          anyway they are blessings from god who has given me yet another chance........

          I'M really. reaaly lucky man.


          so ya I'm doing well...gonna drop to .5 on sunday...I'm ready...then .4 a week from sunday and so forth...slow and low....steady as she goes......
          Hey Jay! Glad you are doing well. I have a question, since you seem to be so knowledgeable on drug tests...lol. Do you or anyone know if bupe shows up on just a regular test? We have random drug tests at work. I have never been called, but I know my day will come. I'm scared ****-less. If I had a script for my sub it wouldn't be a big deal, but I don't. My husband is the one with it, and we share. Because why spend so much money on the both of us when we can just share the stuff. Going to the dr. is expensive. Anyway just thought I would ask.

          Hope your son's musical went well! I have a 2nd grader also.

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          • #80
            Ps ya ginger tea you can either get fresh ginger root and put it in boiling or hot water or i get this product from walmart its frozen.ginger cubes its a tray with a serving of ginger in each cube its super convenient and goes well with a slice or two of fresh lemon as well....

            @gettin it over with.... ya your brother sounds awesome...great minds think.alike they say *poke* (in jest)
            But ya i was/am on that survival tip....i live out in the country these days we have constant power outages so pretty use to livin off the grid at least a day or two at a time...also two summers back i lived in a homeless encampment called tent city here in ann arbor....only power source we had was a generator we had a couple wood stoves....collected our own water etc....was quite an eye opening experience but learned a lot.... i stockpile food and water and am confident me and my family will survive when the SHTF and everyone is running to the gas station buying gas and milk ill be strait chillin......


            as far as me being a nurse i never thought about it i dunno if I'm as caring as one would have to be..... hell i get griped at for not feeding my own kids the right food or putting on the right clothes by my kids mother and mother in law....i guess i dunno if I'm nurturing enouf i guess..... thanks for the vote of confidence tho! You have a really positive attitude that i aspire to have...self doubt guilt negative thoughts are. Problem area for me


            anyways as far as reasons behind addiction I'm gonna google what rose said and research it some more...both of you hint at the other reasons a person might use drugs and they is probably something to it...i just don't know....and its hard to find out personally when.I'm in active addiction but.if i am.to stay clean i need to address the physical and phsychological reasons that drove me to use and keep using in the first place


            FORGIVNESS.. I/we need to learn how to forgive ourselves as well as others...Gods mercy is infinate.... i have resentment against people who have wronged me in the past...i must forgive them.so i can heal

            i have guilt. Over my past actions i have wronged others...i must learn to forgive myself...

            anyways...I'm starting to think quitting this sub will be just as much a mental struggle as a physical struggle...if not more......this is the reason i post and ask for support and guidence here....

            i need to get things off my chest...clean out my closet so to speak
            .

            put my ducks in a row....I'm fortianate to have you all to be there and who know.what I'm going thru....i don't feel.so alone in this anymore....

            been looking into smart recovery...ran into a neighbor of mine who i go to AA meetings with sometimes...ran into him at my sons school...glad he saw me and that I'm doing well even tho haven't been to meetings....they been so concerned lately...they have this idea that if I'm not going to meetings regurlarly i must be out messing up....suprise AA is great for some but not the final only way.... sorry just don't need that mess of other peoples judgement right now...this is MY recovery And I'm taking responsability for it and not leaving it up to just AA...Ill still go...but i don't need to go just to make them happy...if i find what works for me then let me be ya know...what I eat don't make you >>>> ya know....sorry I do think AA and NA is a great program.if that's what works for you.... just myself personally I'm not into it full time sorry..


            anyways that's my only gripe...ill stop yappin....gonna eat dinner with my family then make some iced tea i think...that sounds goosd....i may be back to see how.everyone is doing after the family goes to sleep...peace Jay

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            • #81
              @Auburn girl:

              Bupe (suboxone) does not show up as an opiate on regular testss...it has to be specifically tested for...even my probation doesn't test for bupe and its a nine panel test....my counseling to get my drivers license back does however.test for bupe its a 12 panel test which online says bupe..so I'm 99 percent sure I'm being tested for it...

              that being said i been staying pretty hydrated...eating lots of steak ( for the creatine) to help counteract dillution
              .and keeping my bupe under 1mg a day and skipping morning dose day of test......

              so i haven't failed any drug tests on bupe (yet)...
              i don't think workplaces commonly test for bupe at this point in time but that may change in the future....my advice would be stick to your taper and get under one mg you should be fine..... i have hardcore drug and alchohol testing and i haven't failed you should be fine

              btw is your second grader a boy or a girl?

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              • #82
                @Rose....btw i was looking for your thread so i can see how your doing i get so self.involved with my own.problems and yall are a great help support...but sometimes it helps me.to see how others are doing then it struck me...
                i can't recall.where your at in your taper....was just curious anyways i really do hope all.is well wit you too..and curious as to what you up to seeing as your a fellow michigander! Lol...anyways made some iced tea...it turned out sooo good...had to make some more Ice cubes so i can make another pot...i know the caffeine gonna mess wit my sleep but oh well... i found my summer drink at least..well peace..jay

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                • #83
                  jay you asked me on my thread about insomnia when I jumped. I have been prescribed trazadone for insomnia for several years so when I jumped I did not have to deal with insomnia which a lot of people do when they jump. Trazadone isn't a narcotic but you have to have a prescription to get it. You mentioned about working with 8 mg strips and how difficult it will be to go below .25. I went to .25 then decided to do 1 more drop before I jumped so I just took a little snip off of .25 pieces and dosed there for 5 or 6 days then started skipping days. I had the 8 mg strips also and it was a pain cutting them that small but I managed it somehow. I noticed you asked Rose about where she was in her taper and I just thought I would let you know she is not tapering as she has been clean for a good while now. glad to see all went well for you with your councilor earlier today and keep up the good job with your taper. talk to you later

                  Alex

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                  • #84
                    @Rose omg congrads on being off! I dunno.why that didn't dawn on me before...i feel kinda dumb ...guess that makes sense i couldn't find your taper thread..

                    @alex..i gotta go do comunity service at eleven...so makin this quick.... hope you don't mind but i look up to you and trying to do it the way you did in essence

                    you said your not a spring chicken anymore i can't even imagine as i feel the same way yet have no room to complain to you.....

                    um you ever have a hernia? I think that's what's goin on in my hip/stomach area....i thought it was a pulled muscle last year but never really went away and I'm feeling it again....i gotta ride my bike 6 miles here in a minute then unload a box truck..then i got another job after that stocking beer off semistoo....it kicks my ass by the end of day


                    i have moltrin and epsom salt. for pain and achey joints muscles etc..... does a hernia heal itself or does it take a docter

                    just thinking your pretty wise man you might know.... thanks for all your input and advice...well i gotta go...thanks again jay

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                    • #85
                      Originally posted by jayryan View Post
                      @Auburn girl:

                      Bupe (suboxone) does not show up as an opiate on regular testss...it has to be specifically tested for...even my probation doesn't test for bupe and its a nine panel test....my counseling to get my drivers license back does however.test for bupe its a 12 panel test which online says bupe..so I'm 99 percent sure I'm being tested for it...

                      that being said i been staying pretty hydrated...eating lots of steak ( for the creatine) to help counteract dillution
                      .and keeping my bupe under 1mg a day and skipping morning dose day of test......

                      so i haven't failed any drug tests on bupe (yet)...
                      i don't think workplaces commonly test for bupe at this point in time but that may change in the future....my advice would be stick to your taper and get under one mg you should be fine..... i have hardcore drug and alchohol testing and i haven't failed you should be fine

                      btw is your second grader a boy or a girl?
                      That is good to know. Every month at the beginning of the month I cringe bc I know my name will be called. I am below 1mg now. Today I dropped to .5. I decided to just go for it and see how it goes. I can't be scared.

                      I have 2 girls. :-) They are the loves of my life.

                      btw Alex- that is good to know about the trazadone. I have some of that, but haven't needed to take it, yet. I'm saving it for when I really need it.

                      Have a good weekend, Jay.

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                      • #86
                        Hey Jay! Hope everything is going good today with the weaning.

                        With the AA have you tried pulling aside one of the leaders there if its a certain person giving you grief? Reading through your threads I kinda got the vibe its a problem with someone a little over Religious on you correct me if I'm wrong. I'm a christian myself but one thing I don't believe in is craming beliefs down someone elses throat ugh. My Grandpa is a preacher but he is the most mellow guy you'd ever meet. Doesn't judge, doesn't push...but he will just say God bless you and go about his way lol. Used to be a professional boxer, and once was a professional alligator wrestler back in his crazy days lol. So he doesn't judge anyone. My grandma his wife also is a functioning alchoholic. Always has a few beers on her off days. So coming from where I do theres nothing I can't stand more then someone shoving beliefs down peoples throat and shunning them off. To each their own. Anyways....whatever the problem is that place is open for all and is there to help so if someone is getting a little carried away and making you uncomfortable I'd say for sure speak up. You have just as much right to be there as anyone else. Your trying to better yourself as well.

                        You've come along way from tent city. Thats awesome. Sometimes gotta hit the bottom before you can learn how to climb to the top! I really believe everyone has it in them to be who they want to be, just gotta push your away around anyone who doubts you or wants to hold you down. Recognizing toxic people....cause remember misery does love company. I really believe that too...sadly. Everyone has their skeletons in the closet, and no one has the right to judge. Unless we let them. Just gotta remind yourself that only the ones who love you, opinions matter, and your own. NO one elses. Idk where you came from...and how you got to be homeless but your past will haunt you if you let it. I didn't get so far as a tent, I got lucky enough to have a good friend to stay with when I had no where else to go, but I do know the >>>>ty feeling of relying on other people to just survive and its not a good one.

                        Honestly until I enrolled back in school I always had that feeling something was missing, I cannot recommend enough how much getting a degree helps your self esteem and self doubt. Just figuring out what you want to do in life and ignoring the doubt holding you back and going for it and actually doing it. It helps so much once you realize what your capable of. Its like a "good" high-accomplishing things you didn't think you could. You got a real knack for something, I can tell your a very smart guy. I can really tell you never really though about that. Just how smart you are. I was thinking about working at an addiction center maybe once I finish my degree. Idk though if I really REALLY can handle hearing everyone's problems though lol. I'm a "fixer", I can't see someone down and just let it be. Some people just don't want to change though and that gets me down.

                        Anyways, just keep pushing forward and stay positive. Just think in 10 years you could be clean and picked yourself up off the ground and you'd be alive (most importantly) to tell your story. Giving people all the more reason to respect you for it.

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                        • #87
                          @ Gettin it over with...thanks you made mr feel better...

                          as far as AA... i don't mind the program...its just some of the people there....for instance I'm.trying to cut back quit caffeine and cigarettes too and as soon as i taper quit suboxone imma work.on cigarettes next ... im knocking these down one after another...point is the guy who opens the one meeting i go to...while he means well he currently smokes a pack a day is on 8mg suboxone a day and drinks caffeine as well...kinda like he saying he has a year or so clean yet i just named three drugs he does ya know.

                          .i just have this problem with clean time and since i got benzos in my safe (which are still sitting ther haven't took any ) but admited to them i did...they all just seem super focused on the medications i take even tho i am trying to get off all of them....while the guy who happily eats a 8mg pill.everyday is the leader?... I'm sorry i have a problem with that...its been bugging the daylights outta me and i don't want that mess.... i don't know who to bring it up too cause in ther eyes the benzos i took.recently was a relapse....

                          as far as spirituality....i raise my kids christian as well...altho. i am more science minded i kinda let them make up they own mind but i do beleive that the universe is absolutely amazing and ther is more to it then what us silly humans can ever know........ i love that show the cosmos on sunday nights altho they do kinda bash creationists a little and i don't like that part i don't see why we can't be scientific and beleive in god too ya know? ...i guess I'm agnostic but go to church and teach my kids about the christian god....


                          anyways... thanks for the concern you really are a positive soul in my life i was telling my kids mother about you and others here how lucky i felt to have soo much in my life to be thankful for right now...a place to be honest with myself and others ... i just need to be this way with the guys in AA i guess..its just tricky i feel like i gotta fit ther mold of who i am ya know


                          anyways


                          I'm dropping to .5 tomorro a day early..screw it I'm ready...ya know.... I'm so sick of this stupid little orange speck dictating how i feel everyday....well... i got another busy day tomorro...hope your heartburn feelin better illstop by to see and if you drop or not...have a good weekend ...jay

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                          • #88
                            @Auburn girl...ya you should be fine with the drug test...i wouldn't sweat it....ya I'm dropping to . 5 tomorro to...kinda like screw it too ya know...I'm soo ready to just end this craziness .... definitaly keep us updated on how you feel....

                            .5 seems like a great place to be... i almost want to try lower...but sticking to the plan ya know...anyways..ya definately let us know....ill go check your thread out to see how you are doing....have a good weekend ..jay

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                            • #89
                              Originally posted by jayryan View Post
                              @Rose omg congrads on being off! I dunno.why that didn't dawn on me before...i feel kinda dumb ...guess that makes sense i couldn't find your taper thread..

                              @alex..i gotta go do comunity service at eleven...so makin this quick.... hope you don't mind but i look up to you and trying to do it the way you did in essence

                              you said your not a spring chicken anymore i can't even imagine as i feel the same way yet have no room to complain to you.....

                              um you ever have a hernia? I think that's what's goin on in my hip/stomach area....i thought it was a pulled muscle last year but never really went away and I'm feeling it again....i gotta ride my bike 6 miles here in a minute then unload a box truck..then i got another job after that stocking beer off semistoo....it kicks my ass by the end of day


                              i have moltrin and epsom salt. for pain and achey joints muscles etc..... does a hernia heal itself or does it take a docter

                              just thinking your pretty wise man you might know.... thanks for all your input and advice...well i gotta go...thanks again jay
                              Jay sorry but I cant help you out about the hernia as I have never had one myself and don't know anything about them. I see where you are dropping tomorrow to .5 so my best wishes to you on that drop. I know that I have seen people wearing some sort of special belt for hernias so maybe one of those might help you out. Might be a good idea to have a Dr check you out if it keeps bothering you though. Hope you have a good weekend and will talk to you later.

                              Alex

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                              • #90
                                Ya alex..took .5 today first day of drop.... and ya i think i been having a little anxiety about everyday aches and pains and this pulled groin/ hernia...i haven'tgot it checked out i don't have medical insurance right now

                                ill get it figured out...i think i am just more trying to get in the mentality that i don't need suboxone anymore but am realizing thaylt it did mask some pain and my body aches at such low doses...just anxiety and you being a guy figured you possibly had experiencd r with that....

                                i was thinking about what infact led to my drug use cause it wasn't like one day i woke up and said i want to be a her oin addict ...

                                to those of you that don't know back before my oldest son was born hell has it been ten years already? Damn.... at any rate

                                i was working a lot cause i had just moved my girlfrind in with me aand she was pregnant.... we were trucking along as happy as can be till BAM! I get hurt at work.... i was working at two men and a truck 80hours a week at the time making BANK.....
                                doctor puts me outta work and on to vicoden....ya it started with vicoden.

                                long story short i go back to work after seeing some specialist and wat not and start taking oxycontin that my buddys wife had.... they took care of the pain alrite...

                                started sniffinf the oxycontins for.bigger bang for my buck

                                anyways started hanging.out with that crowd some.of which are dead or in prison by now BTW ....and found H..the horse....didn't take long before i was shooting it up....


                                so ya this has destroyed my life for.ten years just about....

                                on a positive note i do feel I've come full circle.with this and am ready to attempt life withought opiates....I'm not in my twenties anymore and feel.old...opiateswill do that...anyways...guess i woke up thinkinh about stuff as i always.do....just these low doses i feel pain and aches again and by golly thats what got me all messed up in the first place


                                I'm wondering if meditation or acupuncture may help....or maybe the pains will.go away on they.own....maybe i just need to pray to be healed....I'm concerned and have anxiety about this i didn't think of how i would cope with pain i guess..f

                                anyways that's my concern for the day lol

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