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  • #16
    Hey Raven and welcome!

    There are quite a few of us on here tapering off! I am almost complete done with "Roberts taper plan" on my second skip attempt, I can honestly say today I feel pretty normal! First time in a few weeks! Once you get out of your head its gonna be hard, you start realizing how easy it really is . I have a ton of work to do online today...I will def check out your thread in a bit! Just wanted to say welcome and I will be your taper buddy glad to have you on board!

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    • #17
      I am definately gonna show her the taper plan. She will be thrilled to see that I am getting past my stuck point and reaching out to go a bit quicker on the taper! My biggest fear is relapsing back to oxy which is ridiculous considering I havent a clue where to even buy it on the street now.

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      • #18
        I was told I give to much credit to the subs for staying off oxy. My fear isnt really the initial slight withdrawals, its the HUGE fear of an oxy relapse months later and disappointing myself and family. I dont give myself enough credit or belive in myself enough. It wasnt the subs that did it all, really, the pill didnt erase my contact list, move 45 minutes away, get a new job, remarry, buy a house, etc, etc. I did all that BUT, its the fear of without the sub, I cant stay the course. Sounds absolutely ridiculous, doesn't it? One word C R U T C H! I know that. Its only been since my doctor said those 3 words " TIME TO TAPER", that this fear has erupted. Im in a support group and the person who runs them was on subs for years but has been clean and clear of everything for years. I am afraid the support group wont be enough down the road.

        The 7 years ive been in the program I guess I have been on autopilot. Going through life not giving any thought to the day I no longer will be on subs. Ive done the cognitive behavior therapy class, realizing triggers, what to do when I encounter them, etc and its like taking a survivalist class, you take notes but your never really prepared until you get dumped in the jungle, naked with just a spoon. Then you stand there staring at the spoon, thinking, "gee, I hope that naked spoon lecture I took works". Hahaha

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        • #19
          Hahaha...Your funny. Sounds like your on the right path. I think your doing the best thing for yourself right now by NOT trusting yourself. I really think thats the best thing you can possible do to make sure you stay clean. Avoid people and situations that you know you can't handle yet. Then if the day comes you can handle those situations great, if it doesn't and you gotta avoid them...psh whatever works.

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          • #20
            I read something someone posted before about everyone 'hoping" to be who they were before pills etc. They made a good point we will NEVER be that person again. Why would we want to be?! That person was in denial, that person was niave, that person got us into trouble. We are better and stronger and smarter. Lived and learned the hard way. So just trust your instinct. If your body is telling you red flag run...then by all means run lol. Your gonna be fine just keep doing what your doing. Its working.

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            • #21
              I could never be that person again before pills even if I tried. To many things have happened in my life that changed me. For the better though. Before pills, I had to be accepted and go along with what everyone else was doing. Thats what got me into trouble. Now I could care less what everyone else is doing and if i fit in. I do what makes ME happy, not what makes everyone else happy. Took me a long time to get there, thats for sure. I was always a people pleaser and found myself miserable. Everyone else was happy and I was secretly resentful but put a smile on my face and kept my mouth shut. Ugh. No way I'd ever want to be like that again. Quickest way to ensure your a doormat is by never saying "no" to people. I quickly discovered it definately wasnt a two way street, because lots of people I would help had no problem saying no to me but expected me to never say no to them. But thats in the past, and have been pretty damn happy the last few years with life =)

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              • #22
                It's funny, isn't it that people think that they can go back to being the same person before pills. Robert_325 and a few people on the "need to talk" board came up with this: "Once you are a pickle you can never be a cucumber again" I mean they were even talking t-shirts, LOL. But that's good that people don't have the expectation that you're ever going to be the person you were before. I mean, after you graduate H.S., are you going to be the same person? After you've been married? After you have a child? All of life's great events change you.

                Raven: I want to speak to you of your taper. I know you are going slowly and following your docs advice, and I'm not downing that advice at all, just want to say that first, nor am I judging. It's just that many doctors do not know a heck of a lot about subs, other than what they've learned in a short in-service and a test they have to take.(in no way am I saying your doc is a bad doc) But you know that one day where you only take 2mg.? Really, it's pointless because you have so much sub built up in your system, that your body isn't missing that 1mg. at all, even if you do 2 days at 2mg. I mean, it's really pointless as far as the amount of sub in your body goes. It probably wouldn't matter much if you went to 2mg. (which is .25% drop) and you stabilized after a few days. You may have some w/d symptoms, or you could drop to 2.5mg. which is a lesser drop and you may not even feel it. The point is your taper would go faster. I guess I'm just confused that your doctor would take you through a taper that long. It sounds like it would take around 6 months for you to get to 2mg. I mean tell me if I have that wrong. Just sounds unnecessarily slow to me. At 3mg. with only a drop of 1mg. roughly 4 times a month, isn't really doing anything. I know that docs understand methadone and you DO have to taper that very slow and it can take a few years from a high dose, but subs are not like methadone that way. In fact many meth. people taper to around 25mg. or lower and jump to subs to avoid the w/d. I do, applaud your doctor for taking the bull by the horns and being willing to wean you off slowly, but in my honest opinion, I believe it's unnecessarily slow. You can tell me if I'm off the rails or whatever. I'm just curious. I'm not trying to sell you on anything, because bottom line: this is YOUR taper and YOUR experience.

                I'm going to post the sub taper for you. This is a faster taper and not meant to be taken to heart by people that have been on subs as long as you have. It's meant for people who are just coming off of high levels of opiates and the idea by the 8 week taper is that people won't become addicted or so dependent on the suboxone. People that have been on subs long term as you have sometimes make smaller drops or .20% or even .10% and stay at that dose longer, until they are ready for the next drop. I know that you must taper slower than what is outlined in the taper plan. Read Kenn2727's thread: Ken2727's own Thread and also Iwantoff (Kat's thread).

                https://www.drugs.com/forum/featured...apy-50887.html

                Again, I'm not pushing anything at you and feel free to ignore this, as I said: this is YOUR taper. I do not want to make you mad or anything, I guess that's the reason for kinda tap dancing here. You are such a positive influence on this board and I enjoy reading your posts uplifting others.

                Peace: Rose

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                • #23
                  Oh, geez, I just posted all this and see that Sharks has already posted the taper to you.

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                  • #24
                    Raven: You've got the right attitude. It's scary wondering if you'll ever pick up a pill again. But remember, you are not being dumped in the jungle nekked with just a spoon. LMAO. Believe it or not you've picked up ways of coping with the possibility of relapse. Keep that thought to the BACK of your mind to examine every now and again, we all need to be forever vigilant, it is a healthy fear. If the support group isn't enough, check out NA or AA, take the time to find a group you are comfortable with, or even a few groups. Having someone to call f2f is priceless.
                    On a kinda funny note, I was at work, bored and trolling the boards and this woman posted that she had found a stash of her vikes from a while ago. She was literally staring at the pills in her hand. I gave her my e-mail address, advised her to flush them asap, kept talking to her. Told her I'd be back here after a meeting: What did she do? She doused them in dish soap, I laughed so hard, we are still fb friends today. We are all on that page, everyday. Just keep in mind that all you have to worry about is doing "the next right thing" (Robert_325)

                    Rose

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by iloerose View Post
                      Oh, geez, I just posted all this and see that Sharks has already posted the taper to you.
                      Haha Rose....that made me laugh. I'm so bad about long posts and then missing a post up above where someone else answered already, then I'm like Damn. LOL. What a cute quote "once your a pickle you'll never be a cucumber again." I love that. But is that saying were all gonna be sour as >>>> now lol.....Whats he tryna say?! Raven...we are two peas in the same pod. OMG was I a people pleaser. I was like the Go to girl for everyone around me. Always jumping to help someone else out to the point of exhausting myself. I had a lot of "friends". Were they real friends, no they weren't. Because you know what when the tables were turned and I needed help only a few came to my rescue without me asking. Those are your true friends, people who want nothing more then your company. I changed a lot. Started being a lot more assertive and grew a lot over the years. I guess that comes with age for most. I'm a lot more happier saying no, learned to not feel guilty for it either. I'm all for helping people that deserve it now, but I definately pick and choose who I'll help and can spot a user a mile away. There are some really good genuine people, and there are some manipulating selfish ass people out there too that don't want anything more then to use you for their own benefit. I could care less what they think.

                      So funny you bring that up because I was JUST thinking about that yesterday. I was at the park with my kids and came across a group of these really snooty looking women in a playgroup. I could just feel the stares and looking me up and down, a few years ago I would be worried about if my kids clothes matched, were they perfectly clean etc etc. Pretty much worried too much about what other Mom's think. Yesterday my son dressed himself and he was SO proud (he's 4) I did not wanna break his heart and tell him no buddy that shirt does NOT match lol. I just let him be and took him to the park. Who cares what people think if your happy is my point. Happy people are too busy being happy minding their own business...its the unhappy ones that are so busy worried about what your doing looking for reasons to make themselves feel better by putting others down. Screw em

                      (Still laughing at Naked with a spoon...bahahaha...
                      Last edited by Anonymous; 04-11-2014, 05:09 PM.

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                      • #26
                        Hi there. I, too, have been on subs for over 7 years. It kills me that it's been so long. However, I was not free of opiates all those years. Like a fool, I kept abusing painkillers and would return to the subs when the painkillers ran out (so I wouldn't have to go through WD). I was playing a very dangerous game all those years.

                        I'm currently at .75 mg and doing ok. Like Rose mentioned, I've been tapering slow. I drop by 25% every 2 weeks or so. It's been a long road with a few "detours", but I'm getting there.

                        It's great to see you making friends and taper buddies on the board! You have a good attitude, and if you pursue your recovery with as much energy as you used to pursue pills, you will be just fine. Not to say staying clean isn't hard work - it is! I agree with Rose about NA or AA. I have come to prefer AA because it seems there are more people with clean time who are committed to their sobriety. The few NA meetings I attended seemed to have more people who were there by court order or whatever else.

                        Hope you enjoy your weekend!
                        Kat

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                        • #27
                          The saying was a way to say: "once an addict always an addict" in a humorous way. We are all part of the same "club". And if you think about it it's true: you can't un-pickle a pickle, the cucumber is far behind us.
                          And no: we all aren't going to be sour: we can be sweet, zesty, tart, crisp, we can stop someone in their tracks and make them pucker up to shut them up. LOL. I don't know, think of all the pickle "adjectives"!

                          That's funny about your 4yr. old dressing himself. Other 4yr. olds are unlikely to care, unless the "adults" interfere!

                          Rose

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                          • #28
                            hahaha...I was trying to come up with some pickle jokes but I was like no let me stop. lmao haha...good ones though. About my son-Oh I know. I have two girls also, I used to force the pony tails and hairclips etc. Then finally I was like you know what...I remember those ratty hair days where brushing your hair was like torture. LOL they're only kids once. So if they want to run around looking like Bob Marley towards the end of the day so be it lol. Thats their business as long as they wash their hair I'm ok now.

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                            • #29
                              O.K gotta share about the hair. My son got to the age where he could give himself his own bath, wash his own hair. I drew his bathwater one night before his bed time. He took his bath, toweled off, got dressed, and ran up to his dad sitting in his chair and jumped on his lap. His dad got the funniest look on his face and sniffed my son's hair: ewwwwww, didn't you wash your hair? Turned out he had been simply wetting his hair down in an effort to avoid shampoo. MAN. He must have missed a few days w/o shampoo: totally stunk. I found out he had only been wetting his hair down to SEEM like he washed it.

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                              • #30
                                OMG THAT WAS MY CHILDHOOD!!! LOL I was so gross. Do you know how much time I spent PreTENDing I washed my hair. Just how much effort went into that?! My Mom got so smart to sniff multiple spots on my head cause she knew where I'd rub the shampoo smell. I was such a little weirdo lol. That is hilarious, makes me feel better though lol. Something about kids and shampoo lol...Mine can't even try cause I know all the tricks. I'm like NOPE get back in there! Nice try...

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