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Day 1...here we go!

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  • #31
    Today was ok.. I went to therapist at noon then got myself some more Gatorade and some lotto tickets and subway.. Hard to eat the sub though but I figured since I didn't eat in two days that would be a healthyish option. The days are just lonely and hard to get through but it was nice to get out of the house for a bit. Also on the elliptical twice today. Just goin to keep pushing... Maybe ill have a new appreciation for my job after sitting home feelin like **** for couple weeks.. (Maybe).. Lol. Thanks everyone who reads this!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 08-28-2014, 05:11 PM.

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    • #32
      Im sorry bj that is just sad!your gonna get better I promise! you got us here...and I hope other people in your life! remember it could be worse my sister just died she left to kids behind and they are so sad...keep posting all this sad stuff on facebook it breaks my heart and there is nothing I can do for them...sounds like your doing everything right so it is a matter of time and you will be stronger that before! I know it is hard!
      talk to you soon,Melinda

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      • #33
        I am sorry to hear about your sister I lost my best friend 8 yrs ago to drugs and its awful I have some people in my life but most don't know what I'm going through right now.. When i moved 3 years ago here it was to start over and getting off these subs was the last step. My parents and boyfriend know and that's really it because anyone from my past who know I went down this road is out of my life now and that's a good thing. It's unfortunate for us who choose this road to come out the other side and realize how much time we wasted and not many true friends around because let's face it people who use together and seem like friends usually aren't. Just my own experience tho. I think the emotional side of this is just surfacing but I will keep pushing no matter what thank you!

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        • #34
          I read your whole thread! It sounds like you have had a tough time dang!!! Im glad you have made up your mind to get off all the stuff...it is hard but the outcome will be wonderful...you can deal with the emotional stuff as it comes a long...I have been clean for a few years now...it is kinda nice to not wake up and think about pills.
          wishing you the very best and keep posting and let us know how you are doing!!!
          Melinda

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          • #35
            Thanks!! Congrats on your time clean that is awesome I can't wait until the day I can say that even though I've been off all the other stuff for years I never felt clean on suboxone it helped me get my life in order and out of that old life but i knew i didnt want to be on it forever even if at times i felt i would. I don't have kids yet but I want 2 kids one day and my goal has been to get off this and Paxil before that day comes. Things may seem rough now but I know for a fact one day they will be better! My therapist gave me a site to some meetings in my area today and I'm going to check those out and see if any will work, I could use support/friends right about now thanks again!

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            • #36
              Hey, bg....

              It isn't easy, but you CAN do it. Everyday you will discover little things you forgot, or didn't notice. I remember, about 2 weeks into being clean, I was walking across the lawn to my friends house and the smell of fresh cut grass just invaded my being. I always loved that smell, but during my opiate addiction, I didn't appreciate, or notice.

              Everyday, try to look for something positive to keep you going.

              I am helping my friend through getting clean, and tonight she came out of the bathroom and said....'I just had the most wonderful feeling, I was scrunching my hair with gel....and I didn't think about anything other than how I looked'......

              Now, that might sound weird, but she hasn't cared about how she looks for quite some time. That made her feel good.

              She is on day 13.......she is still weak, but eating better and feeling......FEELING things.

              Keep on, keeping on!

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              • #37
                Thanks for sharing that, silver lining! Congrats to your friend and she is lucky to have you by her side through this! Before I started this i thought for sure I would prefer to go through this alone but boy was I ever wrong! When reading I noticed how much I enjoyed that after not reading so many years ! Also I always wanted to be alone I actually really wasnt a people person and now I would like nothing more than to be around some people! So maybe these are things that are coming out for me! I really enjoy everyone's stories/advice/support right now on here I can't even explain. I get happy every time I check and there's a new message!

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                • #38
                  Maybe you are just beginning to find the real 'YOU'......you are on a journey, my friend, and we appreciate you letting us all come along to cheer you on!

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                  • #39
                    Well today is day 5 for me, the withdrawal symptoms are still lingering and my energy is lacking but I still force myself on the elliptical twice a day for ten minutes each time and eatting alot of fruit and veggies. I think the potassium supplements help some with the restless legs. Five days without suboxone is along time for me though and I feel there's no turning back now! I've come too far to turn around!! My advice to people is to definitely taper slowly down to at least .25 mg because I really think that has helped my final jump. It still has been bad yes but I really feel it helped. Hoping to go to a park today and sit and read my book, just getting away from this apartment is what I need. I used to love being here doing nothing whenever possible and now it's something I seem to dread! I look forward to the day this is all behind me. The withdrawal effects are so worth getting my mind back and myself back! I mentioned in my first post how I felt sick on weekends for months now any time I slept in, now I sleep in and I don't feel like a zombie or sick! Well my body feels sick at the moment from withdrawal but my mind is clear!! And this keeps me so motivated!! We will see how the day progresses.. Yesterday I had a couple emotional breakdowns and crying spells but that's to be expected.

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                    • #40
                      Today is rough energy wise I just feel like I'm logging a hundred pound Barrell behind me everywhere I go but I made it to the pet store to get my babies some toys and parked at a park and read for a bit. Just feel the aching bones and lethargy alot today and still hot cold flashes. Hoping this subsides soon. Kat, you're a little ahead of me now are your symptoms getting better??

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                      • #41
                        Congrats on day 5!!!! You are doing this

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                        • #42
                          Well today is day 6 for me. It's going ok. Today I went to a grocery store to get some more fresh fruit and drinks and stuff and I noticed my anxiety was super high. I am trying to force myself to go one place evey day and this was definitely the busiest place I went yet. It seemed like I was in slow motion while everyone else was in such a hurry. It was alot to take in and I was relieved when it was over but I hope it just gets better in time which I'm sure it will, it has to right! I also still feel very heavy and my bones and body just seem weak and worn down. But to keep eating healthy and exercising and taking my supplements I'm hoping that will help speed up the process. This is definitely a challenge but very doable as long as you really want it!

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                          • #43
                            You are doing great, bg. I think the anxiety starts to lessen pretty soon, I can't remember exactly when mine did.....but it does.

                            Are you noticing anything else positive?

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                            • #44
                              At the moment I just feel run down exhausted today's been a little rough. I really want to make a dinner and eat things I enjoy but I can't find the energy to do it and I haven't had Mtn dew in six days either so that's been another challenge. I think I just miss those things on top of wanting to get my energy back. I normally look forward to playing with my pets and It seems like such a task now which makes me feel sad. But it's a bump in the road and I won't give up! so that's a positive right

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                              • #45
                                bg1007 congrats of day 7!
                                I bet you will start feeling better now and the storm has passed and you got through it.
                                Your a inspiration and i am going through the same, feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel but i know there is, Just takes a bit of time.

                                Hope you enjoy your labor day!

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