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Day 1...here we go!

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  • #61
    Today is day 12 suboxone free for me I was really emotional yesterday after my mom left but I went to a therapist appointment, then to the gym for 30 min and then to the pool to read in the sun and I felt much better after all that! I hope when I go back to work that I still find time for the work outs most days! I wish I was one of those people who could wake up early to work out first thing but I am usually more apt to sleep a little longer over anything! One thing I'm still dealing with is the temperature fluctuations with my body and that seems to be lingering on forever but it could be much worse! I see my dr Monday to get the papers signed to go back to work Tuesday most likely! So I am nervous for that but I think it will work out and before I know it it will be like I was never gone! It will be my first time working not on suboxone or methadone or some other junk for the first time pretty much ever so I'm anxious to see if I'm just as motivated and just as hard of a worker as before! Thanks everyone who has been here through this rocky road!!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 09-05-2014, 09:25 AM.

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    • #62
      bg DAY 12....thats so AMAZING!!!
      I's so proud of you...Work is going to be so much better without worrying about all those stupid drugs that distracted our minds.
      Today is day 6 for me and i feel great. I honestly feel like i am much more relaxed now.
      When i am in public and run into friends i feel so much less anxiety and much more my old self coming back.
      I love sober life and i know it will just get better and better. bg same for you....this is the beginning of our road to happiness.
      How are things with the boyfriend?
      I'm sorry you had a rough time when your mom left...do you visit your hometown often?
      ttyl kiddies home

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      • #63
        I don't make it back home as often as I would like because it is 4 hours each way and when I'm working full time and costs are short it makes it hard but I probably get home around 6 times a year give or take depending on the year. So not nearly enough.. My dad just called me though and informed me hospice is goin to stay with my grandpa and that he will probably not make it to the holidays.. This is hard to hear and I feel like I wish I could be home to spend more time with him. I am hoping to head there tomorow morning then come back Monday morning and back to work Tuesday but it all sounds so overwhelming I never went through these types of things sober before and I know it's time to learn how and I will push through no matter what!

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        • #64
          Today is day 13 for me and I woke up at 5 am wide awake and trying to push myself to get packed and on the road back to my home town to see family but I woke up feeling worse than i did the last four days freezing cold still and run down feeling and diarrhea still.. I tried and my mind and heart were ready but my body just wasnt. I need to give myself another week or two before I start making long busy road trips before going back to work the next day is what I decided ultimately. I'm hoping today is just an off day and that tomorow is back to better! No matter what though I will get through it

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          • #65
            I think you made a wise decision, BG.......

            Day 13!!!!! That is just so cool......I went back and read your first post......you have had a long road......but you are almost 2 weeks clean! You are doing this......I hope everyday from here on out gets better and better, but even with a few glitches....I know you will get through.

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            • #66
              Thanks! Today has felt like a bit of a set back but I still got myself to the gym and did 2.5 miles on the elliptical and am making soup now hoping it will warm me up. I haven't had a Mtn dew in 14 days and no pizza since day 1 and I really want pizza so bad lol It's so expensive to keep up this healthy stuff I will have to find a happy medium once I get back to reality next week...

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              • #67
                Lol......I think pizza might help your mind, more than your body. ORDER that pizza!!!!!

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                • #68
                  Hey there. My apologies for not posting to you in a while. I'm sorry to hear about your Grandpa. That's rough. You'll get through this (any many other things) clean and level- headed. There's a saying around here that goes something like "There's nothing so bad that pills won't make much, much worse". Ain't that the truth!

                  Congrats on day 13! You're doing this. Soon, all the physical stuff with be a distant memory. The emotional/mental struggle is what's making me a bit nuts. But hey, we got ourselves into this mess..gotta give it time. I hope you enjoy your weekend. Talk soon.

                  Hugs,
                  Kat

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                  • #69
                    Yes we did get ourselves into this mess and are digging ourselves out now it is hard but I am happy to say I have not even wanted suboxone the last 13 days.. I have a couple times gone to grab it out of habit and realized it wasn't there but having a clear non zombie like head has been enough to keep me motivated! I've wanted this a long time .. Too long to turn back and start over that's for sure! I really wanted to be home with family this weekend and not here but my body just didnt agree and I have to believe its for be best I didn't try to travel like this! I am just so ready to feel normal it gets frustrating when I realize I'm not quite there yet but each day was getting better and today is just a day my body needs to relax I think! I do think I will order that pizza later too lol

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                    • #70
                      Today is day 14 suboxone free for me! That is two weeks since I've taken any suboxone and that makes me happy I feel better today than I did yesterday although I still am cold all the time and the diarrhea hasn't left either but I'm going to go to the gym and do my elliptical time and then try to go to a friends today maybe. Tomorow I go to the doctor to decide what day I will go back to work either Tuesday or Thursday do I'm nervous and unsure what to do! Either way I'm glad to go back to a shorter week instead of a full five day week to start with! Just hope I wake up and feel ok that first day back..

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                      • #71
                        Hey bg im so happy to see you are doing as well as you could be. Its day 8 for me and i feel pretty foggy headed at time. I kinda feel hollow wondering when i will feel normal again, but not sure what normal is.
                        Hope your trip home went well...so sorry to hear about your grandfather.
                        I'm sure your looking fwd to going back to work. Did you think of what you will tell your fellow employees at the job?
                        Congrats on 2 weeks....see you can do this!!!

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                        • #72
                          I didn't make the trip back home it was too much for me to drive a long way and do so many things and yesterday I had a bad day. Today was better though and I went to my friends house for few hours which was nice. My body feels sore though and I feel tired out so I'm hoping I don't feel too exhausted from work. Honestly I'm not that excited to go back lol.. It's easier to deal with this stuff at home but add being stuck at work for 9 hours on top of the stresses of the people and work I just hope it all goes well! There a lot of changes goin on at my job right now so I think that's adding stress to going back. Since I'm going back almost a week earlier than planned I'm hoping they will understand if I'm not quite 100% right away! I had anxiety over going to my friends earlier but I'm glad I did it was nice to see her just made me wonder how ill feel walking into work Tuesday or Wednesday when I go back! Gota go eventually though right! I'm sorry ur day 8 isn't the best but ur doing great hang in there !! If I can do this so can you

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                          • #73
                            Hi bg
                            I can remember when I had to go back to work on my first day clean...it was very scary..I had a cleaning business I took it five minutes at a time...I would tell myself to just do one thing and when I did that I could do one more thing and before I knew it the day was over and I was so proud of myself...Im not saying it was easy but I did it.. and that is all that counts....your gonna do just fine!!! happy for you!
                            Melinda

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                            • #74
                              Thanks for the encouraging words about going back to work I think that is what ill have to do is take it minute by minute! I know once I'm back im back for a while because I used 70% of my vacation/sick time built up to have this time off to get through this which i hated to do but thats just a small price to pay for the large reward in the end though right ! Sick and vacation build back up each pay check so it's not like its gone forever! Hopefully the suboxone is gone forever though !! I feel pretty good about that right now
                              Last edited by Anonymous; 09-07-2014, 07:38 PM.

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                              • #75
                                I think it took me a couple days and then I told myself OMG I can do this without drugs...people even started telling me Melinda your like a new person... that was the best feeling ever!!!you got this...life is going to be good just wait your going to be very happy!!!
                                Melinda
                                Last edited by Anonymous; 09-07-2014, 07:58 PM. Reason: forgot somthing

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