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  • Day 1...here we go!

    Hello everyone, I will just briefly share a little of my story. I have been on subs for around 5 years with a 1.5 yr lapse in there where i took methadone. Before all of this I had about 4 years of using many other things. I have been just on subs for about 3 years now and have not wanted anything else for the most part. I moved from my home town 3 years ago to get away from everyone and thing I knew that tempted me to use. I was the victim of DV which had something to do with my lapse of 1.5 years in the middle there. I now finally feel ready to get off these subs and today is day 1 where I won't take any. I spent the last year getting down from 8 to 2 mg and the last month or so getting down to .25 mg. During the last couple weeks I have already been withdrawing from the final taper but it's been manageable. Many times throughout the years I thought I would be stuck on this forever or would never feel strong enough to try to get off it and that I would be stuck in that chapter of my life forever. Then one day i just finally had enough. While on subs still the last several months I've been dealing with depression, lack of motivation, laziness, no desire to spend time with people, and just basically going to work and that's about it. I felt especially bad on the weekends,, like I felt sick every single weekend for months. I'm not sure if it's because I slept in later and taking my dose at a different time gave side effects or if these were suboxone hangovers but I finally have had enough. I just want to feel again and want to have the desire to do things that once made me happy. Before all that though I know I have a rough road to get through after many years of this. I am almost 27 and I have not been completely clean since I was still in high school. I have never felt so ready though. Although I am scared to death of getting through the next several days and weeks and possibly months, but I have the desire and will to do whatever it takes. I have 3 weeks off work. I also have many supplements like clonodine, L-Tyrosine, Vit B complex, daily vit, EmergenC, magnesium, immodium, fish oil, potassium, etcetera! I also have a fridge full of fruits, vegetables and healthy juices and vitamin waters. I don't have many people I can talk to as I go through this, especially people who actually understand what I'm going through. I've read so many inspiring stories on here and thought maybe I could make a diary too as I go through this and maybe it will help me and someone else one day! The last 2 weeks I've been dealing with the restless limbs, yawning, sneezing, diarrhea, lack of energy and inability to sleep much and that was all during going from .75 to .25 mg. I am sure this is all going to intensify much more now that I've gone to 0 mg today Here we go... thank you so much to anyone who took the time to read this or help me. I appreciate it so much.

  • #2
    Hi there. Welcome to the forum.

    You've made the most important decision of your life. I was on Sub for almost 8 years, so I understand what it's like to come off this junk after such a long time. I am 5 days clean now. Took me a long time to taper off. It's been rough, but absolutely worth it!

    Sounds like you've got a positive attitude, which is half the battle. You may experience some rough road ahead. Just keep pushing through it.

    I have to run out but will check in with you soon.

    All the best,
    Kat
    Last edited by Anonymous; 08-25-2014, 11:21 AM.

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    • #3
      Thanks for responding today started out not so bad but seems to be getting worse.. I just can't get comfortable no matter how I lay on my bed or couch! Last night I flushed an entire script of subs down the toilet before starting today and it was so hard after I did that I just wanted to cry I had all these emotions as crazy as it sounds it was like flushing the one thing you've had for years away! I plan for some rough days ahead but have to get through this so I begin a new chapter finally! Thanks again!! What's been the worst symptom for you? How do you get through?

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      • #4
        Hi bg....

        You definitely came to the right place. There are several people that are overcoming the battle....and everyone on here is so helpful....hang tight you will get some good advice. Just know you aren't alone.

        Restless legs seem to be the biggest bug-a-boo to anyone withdrawing off opiates. I am helping a friend, and today I went to the health food store and got some Hyland's Leg Cramps pills. They are taken under the tongue every 4 hours, or as needed. They also have a PM version that promotes sleep, but I didn't see that until I was reading the box when I got home.

        I will let you know tomorrow, if this helped my friend.

        Seems from checking around, quinine (like in tonic water) helps with restless legs. The Hyland's has a homeopathic version of quinine......it might just do the trick......or at least, lessen the irritating RLS.

        Talk to you tomorrow, and God bless.

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        • #5
          Thank you! I have clonodine too which they say helps but I don't know when the heck I should take it! I get nervous taking things ive never taken before too which is crazy for all the stuff i used to take knowing it was bad for me! It's 86 degrees where I am and I'm inside in a sweatshirt and leggings but still cold! I've been through this many times years ago but not from suboxone and not by choice! I know I need to eat healthy but I really want a Pizza Hut stuffed crust pizza right now even tho I feel sick I guess I still have an appetite at this moment! Lol.. Been up since 7 and feels like the longest day ever and it's only after 3... Wow. Going to be a long week!

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          • #6
            I say order that pizza.....just put some veggies on also...lol

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            • #7
              oh, and music helps. I stopped listening to music during my stint in the opiate world.....don't know why, because I have always done everything to music. I had music I cleaned by, music to relax, and on and on.....sooo, crank it up

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              • #8
                Originally posted by bg1007 View Post
                Thank you! I have clonodine too which they say helps but I don't know when the heck I should take it! I get nervous taking things ive never taken before too which is crazy for all the stuff i used to take knowing it was bad for me! It's 86 degrees where I am and I'm inside in a sweatshirt and leggings but still cold! I've been through this many times years ago but not from suboxone and not by choice! I know I need to eat healthy but I really want a Pizza Hut stuffed crust pizza right now even tho I feel sick I guess I still have an appetite at this moment! Lol.. Been up since 7 and feels like the longest day ever and it's only after 3... Wow. Going to be a long week!
                Lol...stuffed crust pizza. Hey, whatever works! Yeah, it's best to eat healthy, but that can be difficult when going through detox. Eat whatever you can for now. You can focus on eating healthy soon enough. Just make sure to drink a lot of water and take your supplements. Exercise will make a huge difference in how you feel.

                I have Clonodine, too. It makes me horribly tired, so I don't take it during the day. My doctor prescribed 0.2 mg tablets, up to 4 times a day. There's no way I could take that amount and keep my eyes open! Last night I took a half tablet before bed. It's supposed to help with chills/sweats and anxiety.

                You asked about my worst symptoms after I jumped. For me, it's sweating, whole body aches, trouble sleeping, anxiety, etc. I've been taking 800 mg ibuprofen and hot baths for the aches. Drinking a ton of water to flush out my system. Walking every day to help endorphin production. Melatonin for sleep. Serene Theanine supplement for anxiety. Aside from that, I'm keeping busy with work and family so I don't have much time to dwell on everything. The biggest motivator is that I'm finally free. I will handle anything that comes my way because there's one way in hell I'm going back.

                You'll get through. It gets better slowly. Just keep the goal in sight: to live life free from the chains of active addiction. Post daily. We're here for ya!

                Kat

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                • #9
                  Thank you so much! I forced myself on my elliptical for ten minutes and it was nice to move my legs because they're so restless but it was hard. I feel emotional and like this day will never end. Something as simple as getting the wrong supplement in the mail (I got L-Lysine instead of L-tyrosine sent to me) made me want to cry! Ugh.. I would say here's to hoping tomorow is better but I already know that's a long shot .. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger right

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                  • #10
                    Awww, bless your heart. Just remember....there is always a storm before the sun......getting on the elliptical was great......actually, the L-Tyrosine made me jittery....I used it sparingly.....so maybe you'll be okay until you find it......and maybe you won't even need it.......Keep positive, my friend.

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                    • #11
                      Thank you I hope everything is going well for you too I will have to find your thread

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Iwantoff2013 View Post
                        Lol...stuffed crust pizza. Hey, whatever works! Yeah, it's best to eat healthy, but that can be difficult when going through detox. Eat whatever you can for now. You can focus on eating healthy soon enough. Just make sure to drink a lot of water and take your supplements. Exercise will make a huge difference in how you feel.

                        I have Clonodine, too. It makes me horribly tired, so I don't take it during the day. My doctor prescribed 0.2 mg tablets, up to 4 times a day. There's no way I could take that amount and keep my eyes open! Last night I took a half tablet before bed. It's supposed to help with chills/sweats and anxiety.

                        You asked about my worst symptoms after I jumped. For me, it's sweating, whole body aches, trouble sleeping, anxiety, etc. I've been taking 800 mg ibuprofen and hot baths for the aches. Drinking a ton of water to flush out my system. Walking every day to help endorphin production. Melatonin for sleep. Serene Theanine supplement for anxiety. Aside from that, I'm keeping busy with work and family so I don't have much time to dwell on everything. The biggest motivator is that I'm finally free. I will handle anything that comes my way because there's one way in hell I'm going back.

                        You'll get through. It gets better slowly. Just keep the goal in sight: to live life free from the chains of active addiction. Post daily. We're here for ya!

                        Kat
                        Hey Kat was this a Freudian slip. If so, better watch out.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hey bg1007, IMHO the best thing for restless legs is exercise. Walking or using those legs, especially just before bed, helps the energy to dissipate. Also, some yoga poses that really stress those particular muscles in the legs [eg the Vajra position in Tibetan Yantra] when done to muscle exhaustion or close to it are really useful too.

                          I have had to deal with RLS for decades off and on. Being low in iron causes it for a lot of people as does opiate wd. Coming off oxy's gave me the worst RLS and RArmsS I have ever had.

                          As you are in the fortunate position to have 3 weeks off work make sure you hang tough and endure -- it might take a while to get another 3 weeks off. Good luck and best wishes -- one day/hour at a time my friend.

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                          • #14
                            Thank you! I know I don't plan on taking much time off for a while once I go back... I may go back after two weeks but got three just in case.. I'm hoping I don't go crazy during this time,.. I am hopin once I get through the worst of the physical that I can really spend the remainder of what time is left (if any) to focus on my emotional health and just going back to work without my crutches ..(subs) this is all so scary and after a decade of not bein completely substance free its like learning how to live again almost! I too am trying to slowly taper off Paxil (antidepressant) as I don't want to be on any meds I'm dependent on any more.. I'm tired of being the one who doesn't feel good with out her meds or geeze even with them half the time! One day ill look back and say "wow I did it" at least that's the plan!

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by rocksolidihope View Post
                              Hey Kat was this a Freudian slip. If so, better watch out.
                              Lol...I didn't even see that typo. Freudian slip? Nope, just typing too fast...

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